Rowan

Chapter 23 | Rowan

•>•>•>

He ended up spending the night, but had to go back to his place in the morning for a change of a clothes.

"I don't want to look like a slob when I meet your friends," he'd said.

So she was standing in front of the mirror in her bathroom finishing up her hair. She'd gone simple, just doing a pretty fishtail braid, and then she slipped on a pair of flats. She'd decided to wear the skater skirt she'd had on when he'd picked her up from Emma and Leo's party less than a month prior. It seemed like an eternity had passed.

A few knocks sounded through the small apartment and she ran out to open it. "I should just give you a key," she joked, grinning up at him. "You're here all the time anyways."

He returned her smile, leaning down to kiss her. "You look beautiful."

Leaning back to take in his outfit, she glanced up at him appreciatively. "You look amazing. They're going to love you."

He was silent for a beat. "And what about you, Ms. Easton?"

Her eyes widened at the question. Was he asking her if she loved him? She was searching desperately for the right way to answer when his hand found hers.

He gave her a long look, and she was unable to read the emotions behind it. But his eyes were soft and warm. "We should probably get going. It's a ten minute drive to the restaurant."

They took his car, being that she didn't have one and it had begun to rain. They found themselves laughing over an interview happening on the radio. He tried to imitate the woman's high pitched tone and Rowan couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so hard.

The parking lot of the restaurant was full, so he dropped her off by the entrance since it had started to rain quite heavily. "I'll find a parking spot and be right in," he promised.

Emma and Leo were waiting for her under the sheltered entrance, and Rowan's wide grin faltered a bit as she noticed how uncomfortable they seemed. Even Leo looked tense. They both gave her a tight smile.

"Is that him?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, he's just parking and then he'll be in." She glanced between them. "Is something wrong?"

Emma was frowning now. "We need to talk to you for a minute."

They pulled her aside, neither one of them seeming to know how to start.

Leo grimaced. "Well, the thing is..." He looked at Emma in desperation, and she turned to Rowan with a concerned expression.

"Ro, there was an article in the newspaper today. There was a trial that's been going on in New York. It was really big a year ago, and then it just exploded here recently. Because it involves James."

Rowan's eyes widened. "What do you mean? What trial? And why would it be in our newspaper?" The questions were rolling through her head as she tried to make sense of what was happening.

"Because he moved here as a result of the trial, and they knew that. It said James recently divorced, and that there was a baby involved. They wouldn't give him custody because he'd been in some trouble for drinking and stuff. It's going around campus that he's only with you because he needed someone to distract him." She looked worried now. "Did you know any of this?"

The door opened to reveal James, who smiled widely at her, his expression quickly slipping as he took in her face. "What's wrong?" he asked, looking between the three of them.

Leo stood up, pulling Emma with him. She gave Rowan one last pat on the shoulder before they went inside, leaving the couple alone.

Rowan didn't know what to say at first, and then he gave her a little smile. She started feeling unease deep in the pit of her stomach. "You're divorced," she said.

His eyes widened fractionally. "Yes." He seemed to be carefully studying her.

"Was I your rebound?" she asked, the words feeling bitter on her tongue.

He let out a half laugh. "Of course not!" he said, his expression quickly twisting to one of anger.

A strangled sob escaped her, and she was almost embarrassed by the sounds she was making. But she couldn't stand the way he was looking at her.

It was in regret.

And she knew that it was either because he'd been lying to her all along about his intents, or because he knew he should have explained his situation from the beginning.

He took a step toward her, and she matched it with a step back. "Was I a distraction?" Her eyes were watery as she looked up at him, and she felt as though her heart were breaking. She felt herself slipping back in time. A heart can only break if it's been given away.

The guilt in his expression brought her back. He looked utterly lost. "Rowan, no. You were not- are not- a distraction. Never."

"Then why the hell is it in the newspaper? And there's a baby? It's going around campus that you only went out with me to get away from the whole thing. How far were you willing to go?" she cried, feeling like a fool.

Her embarrassment had been rising as the conversation progressed. She was embarrassed that she had fallen for his charms and embarrassed that she was now sounding like a clingy girlfriend.

He'd played her for a fool. Where did it end?

"Just tell me one thing," she said quietly. "Tell me that it was never to take your mind off of her. That she was never the reason behind it."

Stormy eyes met hers, and the silence was deafening. She felt as though the final wall had been put in place; the final blow.

But what killed her the most was that it appeared that the desire to fight for her had left him. He said nothing.

She abruptly stood up straight, needing to get herself far away from the pain bubbling up in her chest. Her voice wavered as she spoke to him one last time. "You asked me what it felt like with Caden." She met his gaze; unreadable gray eyes connecting with watery green. "It felt like this."