Misfit (Phan AU)

Chapter Twenty-Six

A/n: Before you even say it, yes I know I'm a piece of absolute shit. I'm working on fixing that in the new year but as you can see, it's going rather poorly. I will keep you posted.

Just a quick heads up toward the end of this chapter there's a scene where a guy non-concensually pins Dan against the wall but not even in a sexual way really, just to be intimidating moreso. So yeah, if that's a thing you're not cool with then like watch out kids

*Dan's POV*

"How the hell can you?" Chris asked, his features riddled with obvious confusion. He'd started to take stumbling backward steps as if subconsciously trying to put more space between us, something I couldn't really blame him for given the fevered gaze Cat had set on him.

However, justified or not, I couldn't deny that it stung a bit. Deep in my chest where just moments prior there had been an abundance of warmth toward the newly-met acquaintance and the surprisingly smooth beginning to our potential friendship, there was now only a dull uneasy ache.

It was odd, how unlike anything I'd ever experienced before this situation was, and yet at the same time how eerily familiar it seemed. I guess, in the most simplest of comparisons, it felt sort-of like looking into a mirror. Despite the fact that I'd never actually had the chance to view myself in third person, every expression flickering across his face resonated with me in a way that only could if one specifically related to them.

Sure, I'd never had the chance to see myself wear said expressions, but there was a part of me that knew I had in the past. Naturally, that meant I also had a pretty good idea how he was feeling at the moment, ambushed with overwhelming new information when he'd finally settled into a situation he felt comfortable he wouldn't have to expect something like that from.

Perhaps that's what the ache was, a quiet drone of sympathy thrumming through me the longer I considered what it was to be in his shoes right now. It had started to replace every shred of excitement I'd previously felt toward the surprise turn of events, guilt seeping through me the more I took in his sheepish stature.

This wasn't going to end well. It wasn't going to end in shared recollections of our difficult pasts that only the two of us would be able to relate to. It wasn't on a set path toward mutual bonding over hardships that would end in shared sentimental tears being shed. It was already set on the road to ruin from the very beginning, and I should have known as much.

Not just because I'm pessimistic toward any type of social endeavors, considering what low depths my faith in the human race as a whole has plummeted to, but because I know him. Not him as an individual per se, but I know him in general. We've faced the same struggle, manipulated our lives to suit it, surely we can't differ all that much from each other.

If I was trying my damndest to have one night where I could just go through the motions of a shitty minimum wage job without the constant fear of running into ghostly apparitions, one evening where I could just pretend to be a normal person like all of the unnamed faces surrounding me on a daily basis, the absolute last thing I'd want interrupting it would be something as abruptly life-altering as this scenario.

Watching the way his eyes shifted between Cat and I, squinted with all of the skepticism and unwillingness to believe that I'd grown accustomed to using over the years, I knew that there was no way he didn't feel the exact same toward it all.

Suddenly I felt like backing away from the scene myself, shrinking backward and blending seamlessly into the varying faces in the crowd. This was everything I'd been after for so long, I'd finally found another person like me, and yet the process was accompanied with none of the overwhelming relief I'd been expecting. It was stressful, tense, uncomfortable. It felt like I was treading in unreasonably hypocritical territory, putting all of these expectations on one person when I loathed people treating me with the same high hopes.