Loving You Is Hard

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"Alex, get up! You're gonna be late!"

My eyes snapped open, and I quickly glanced at the clock before letting out a shriek and jumping out of bed. I heard my roommate laugh as I hurried to get ready. "You suck, Cam."

"You know you love me." She teased, poking her head out of the bathroom. "I'm the best roommate you've ever had."

"Sure, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

Almost two months had passed since I left Mission Creek and everyone I loved. It had been a crazy ride so far, but an amazing one. The moment I met my roommate, Cameron, we instantly clicked. She obviously knew who I was from the news, but she didn't seem to care. She obviously thought my bionics were cool, but she never actually talked about them. I thought everyone would stare at me the moment I stepped foot on campus, but it was the exact opposite. It was refreshing to not be the center of attention, when that was all I was back home.

The classes I were taking were so amazing, as were the professors. I never imagined loving my classes like I did, especially after experiencing the awful classes I took in Mission Creek High. I had yet to choose a major, but I knew I wanted to pick something that would help people. Plenty of majors did that, it was just deciding which one would be perfect for me.

"Study group after class, right?" Cam asked.

I nodded, grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. "Yeah. I'm having a little trouble with the new section."

"Same. But I think Ryan has it down pat. I'm pretty sure he can help us." She nudged my side, sending me a flirty wink. "He likes you, you know? He literally can't stop staring at you."

"He's gonna have to try." I muttered. "I'm not looking for a relationship right now. Probably not for a long time."

"Because of Chase, I know. But don't you think it's time to move on and try dating other people?"

"Nope." I ignored her pouting face and continued walking across campus, her right by my side. It was pretty chilly out, but the sun was shining down brightly, warming me up. "We were together for three years, Cam. I can't move on the fast." Not when I still loved him.

She didn't bother replying, which I was extremely grateful for. Talking about Chase was still painful, especially when I hadn't actually talked to him since I moved out here. Yes, I was called out on a few missions, but those conversations were merely professional. He was the only one I hadn't to talk on a personal level, and I wasn't sure if I was happy or sad about that. Just thinking about him caused my heart to ache, and my chest would feel like it was collapsing in on itself.

Why did he have to do this to me? To us? All the memories we made together just went down the drain the second he broke up with me. I should resent him, hate him and curse him to hell. But instead, I missed him, loved him.

Why was loving him so hard?

Xxx

"Dude, no more studying. I think my brain is about to explode." Jimmy groaned, falling back against my bed. I rolled my eyes, focusing on my textbook. "How long have we been studying?"

"Twenty minutes." Cam deadpanned. "I don't understand how you're getting A's."

"Because I'm awesome."

"Sure, let's go with that." Ryan laughed. He slammed his textbook shut, plopping down on the floor beside me. "How's it going? Understand it better?"

I nodded, flashing him a smile. "Yeah, thanks." Loud beeping from my phone caused me to groan and and pick it up. Mission Alert flashed across the screen. "Damn it. Seriously?"

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