36: PANIC ATTACK (JASON)

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"Jeez Johnny! Slow the fuck down

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"Jeez Johnny! Slow the fuck down. It's not like we're in a hurry to save Andy from Mark Rydell again."

We were flying down the Athens Road on our way to pick up Trenton. I'd been texting back and forth with Corey about a problem his brother and Braden were having. I didn't want to talk to him about it around Johnny. God knows he thought I already had more than enough on my mind. I told Corey I had to deal with Johnny because he was driving so fast and ended the text conversation. Johnny had to be going seventy-five miles an hour or more.

"Dude, If a deer jumps out and you hit it going this fast, we'll all three be dead meat," I told him.

"Sorry, babe." He'd been leaning forward almost on the wheel and now he sat back a little as he let up on the accelerator and the car began to slow down. "Guess my mind was just wandering. Didn't realize I was speeding."

"Are you upset because of what Uncle Ted told you?" I asked.

"Nah. Well, yah about his moving to Pittsburgh. That sucks. But not about him and my dad and mom. That's all pretty awesome."

"It sure is. I know it's a shock about your dad and Uncle Ted, and your mom too, but it was all so cool, the three of them. You came from three loving people, not just two."

Johnny reached over and punched my arm. "Dude, I had a secret life I didn't know anything about. The fuck? Like if I was born in a castle, a secret prince. But better. I'm like Ohio gay royalty, an Army ROTC baby. My dad was the cadet prince and my mom a military princess from Central America."

My little giggle slipped out. "And Uncle Ted your fairy godfather."

Johnny grunted. "He ain't no fairy."

"Don't I know it. That's another word that needs defusing."

"And he would've been my father, too, if my dad had lived," he went on. "I would've had two dads. Man, that's so cool. I guess Uncle Ted really has been my dad these last ten years, but I'm so used to him being my uncle."

"Uncle is good," I told him. "You don't have to change it. He wouldn't like it anyway. I hate to see him move away, but the man needs to have a lover too."

I looked out the window at the endless woods flying by. "Damn, he's so hot. Guess I never really looked at him as a sex object before. Uncle Ted is one hot daddy, and he's almost fifty. Fuck, I'd jump in bed with him in a minute."

"Holy shit, Jason. Then it's better he's moving to Pittsburgh. I'd have to keep my eyes on you every second if we were living in the house with him."

I slouched back and flopped my phone down on my crotch. I was silent for a whole minute just staring out the window and seeing nothing. Then I said, "I have a confession to make, Johnny."

He looked at me with an exaggerated expression of shock. "Oh god no, what is it now? I don't know if I can take any more surprises tonight."

"Umm ... shit ... fuck! It's like all of a sudden I'm outta my mind dying to be with an older man. Like Strike. Jeez, I think about him all the time. Even Vinnie looked good to me the other day. And that Detective Romano, ohmygod, I thought I was gonna jump on him yesterday and wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist right there in the kitchen. And every day I'm sneaking looks at the muscle hunk daddies on Tumblr and Google images and Bing."

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