Wolfstar

Comfort

A//N

(THE ART IS WARICKA FROM TUMBLR. GO FOLLOW THEM.)

Mental Illness Trigger - Remus has undiagnosed depression.

A//N

Inside him was empty. He didn't know what to feel. Remus blinked and looked up at the black sky. The incomprehensible void. Remus toed the edge of the roof, thinking. Should he? Should he jump and just be done with the world? With this complex and messy lump of a feeling?

He was startled by a the noise of someone coming up the stairs.

"Hey," a soft voice said. A very familiar, warm voice with a touch of gravel that made Remus go very weak at the knees.

Remus didn't look up. He just gave a half-smile and sniffed, wiping his puffy eyes.

"How did you find me?" He asked in a whisper.

Remus felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him from behind, they conducted a warmth that was seldom found on the castle rooftops at night.

"I can always find you. Come away from the edge Remus, please."

Remus closed his eyes and leaned backwards into the solid warmth of Sirius' body pressed against him.

They sat down on the edge of the roof together.

"Remus," murmured Sirius, running his fingers through Remus' hair, "You're not well. Please let me take you to Madame Pomfrey."

Remus pressed his forehead against Sirius'.

"I'm never well, Pads. There's something up with my head, and we both know that."

Remus opened his eyes to see Sirius' deep brown ones gazing back at him with a tender, loving concern. His dark brows were furrowed with worry.

Something deep inside of Remus was released in that moment. Tears began to trail down his cheeks and his chest heaved with silent sobs.

Sirius didn't back away - or react awkwardly - he just took Remus into his arms and held him. He tenderly kissed Remus' head and rubbed soft lines down his back, following the map of scars he knew resided underneath Moony's shirt.

Sirius stayed calm and steadfast as Remus held tightly to fistfuls of his shirt and sobbed silently into his neck.

Sirius exhaled softly when he saw the dark shadows under Remus' eyes and felt the prominent ridges of his ribs underneath his shirt. He never chastised Remus about these things - for that would only make them worse - but they still worried him to no end. 

Remus' depression was not a choice - Sirius knew that all too well - and his lycanthropy only worsened the effects...

Sirius could do nothing but offer comfort and words of love and safety, he could only help in small ways, but with depression, the small things can make a world of difference.

....

When at last, Remus had cried himself out, Sirius gently separated them, holding Remus softly by his shoulders.

He placed one hand under the boy's chin, tilting his face up to his level. Sirius looked into his sunken amber eyes.

"I love you," he said.

One last tear escaped Remus' eye, but Sirius brushed it away with as much care and tenderness he could muster.

Remus tried to speak, but his throat had closed slightly so he could only mouth the words he wished to say.

"Shh..." Sirius whispered, "You don't have to say anything, I know what you mean."

He leaned forwards and pressed a lingering kiss onto Remus' forehead.

A weak smile forced its way into Remus' face. He knew what to feel now. The cold nothingness in his body gave way to the warmth of Sirius and the love in his words. He new the feeling wouldn't go away forever, but this was a welcome temporary fix. 

"Thank you, Sirius," croaked out Remus.

Sirius smiled a huge relieved smile and kissed Remus.

As their lips met, fireworks filled the void.