I'm Not Even

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Chapter Twenty Seven

Jay

"Don't ever say that again! She does not care! She found me so that she could bring me home and make my life pure hell again! She does not care!"

Shit. I didn't even think about what was coming out of my mouth. I had just told her that her mom cared. That was a huge mistake.

Cali jumped up off the bed and began pacing around the room while mumbling things under her breath. It was so hard for me to watch this. I should have killed Mark for doing this to her. Her she was, freaking out and there was nothing we, or her, could do.

Cali just kept rambling on and spitting out random swear words. Preston looked at me with the same amount of fear and confusion in his eyes. If only there was some book that described what to do when your girlfriend's family returns but they messed up her life and now she's freaking out. Why couldn't someone write that book?

"Cali, you need to calm down. Stop," Preston grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to stop flailing all over the place.

I was trying to come up with something to do or say to make her calm down. We got her to sit down on the bed and I crouched down, placing my hands on her knees. "Cali, sweetheart, you need to relax. She's gone now," I said in a calming voice as I tried to get her to look at me.

"Nope, nope, not gonna happen. I'm in self destruct mode. You can't help. I don't even know what I'm saying. This is how I am. I will freak out until I die. It's how I am. You can't do anything to stop it. Sucks for you. I'm so sorry. You get to witness my madness. No one will ever love me. My mom doesn't love me..." She spit all that out incredibly fast.

Self destruct mode? Witness her madness? No one will ever love. Her mom doesn't love her. That was about all I got, but it was enough to break my heart even more. It wasn't breaking because of her, it was breaking because we couldn't help. And I so desperately wanted to take away everything.

If I haven't said that enough.

Cali was now whispering things while looking everywhere except at me and Preston. She was shaking and fiddling with her hands in her lap. I grabbed her hands trying to make her realize we were there with her, but nothing was snapping her out of it.

Suddenly, she stopped shaking. Her eyes that once looked glassy, were now filled with something else. She stared off in the distance and I turned to see what she was focused on.

"You! It was you!" She screamed as loud as she could. I quickly whipped my head to look at her. Her eyes met mine and I realized they were filled with rage. Rage and hate.

"What?" I asked trying not to sound terrified or scared. My tone wasn't helping.

"You! It was you! You called them because you thought I needed them! You thought this would be good to see them again! It was you!"

I gulped audibly and then in a second, she was out of the room. Me and Preston shot up and followed her out of the room. But before we could, she was on Grace and out of the barn. Without a saddle or anything. This was not going to end well. I hurried over to Jay but I was stopped when Preston grabbed my arm.

"You can't go after her, man." He looked to calm for my liking and I was suddenly pissed at him. Before I could go off on him, he butted in.

"She obviously doesn't want us to follow her. You have to let her calm down."

I was only getting angrier. I stopped getting my horse ready and turned around to face him. I suddenly felt taller and bigger then him and the way his face looked reminded me of...me.

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