Saving Grace

If Only I Could

Chapter Eighteen

Jay

"He was taken in because the guy reported him to the police," Preston said in a serious tone.

"The guy got arrested for throwing a shoe at another guy?" I asked in disbelief. I heard Cali giggle, which made me feel better.

These past four weeks, she hasn't really laughed or smiled. She seems to be in her own little world. I wish I could help.

"Yeah. But he was released and I don't know the rest," Preston said as he finished his story. He was telling us about his friend in Houston who was at a college party, got drunk and threw a shoe at someone, causing a concussion. I thought it was pretty funny. And then I wondered, what kind of shoe could cause a concussion?

We were all up in my room after dinner, just talking. That's how we spent a lot of our nights. Talking about anything and everything. I would miss it when I had to leave. Grandpa said he was tired so he turned in. Cali was laying on my bed, I was sitting on the ground in between the two beds, leaning against the wall, and Preston was sitting on the other bed. Cali said she was strong enough to walk up here for dinner, but now she looked tired. I would probably have to carry her back to the barn.

I was sleeping in the room with her just in case she needed anything, and a few times she did. I slept in the chair on the other side of her room. And I wasn't complaining. At least she was allowing me to help instead of Preston.

"Well, it's getting late. 'Night you two," Preston said standing up and leaving the room. I said goodnight and looked over at Cali. She was staring out the window on the wall to her right. She was zoned out and looked lost in thought. I stood up and nudged her arm gently.

"You alright?"

She turned to look at me. She had tears in her eyes and slowly shook her head. Oh god. I sat down next to her on the bed and put my arms around her shoulders. I gently pulled her close and she leaned her head against my chest.

"No..." She whispered. Just then her phone rang and she picked it up to look at it.

"And it all starts with this woman," she said handing me the phone. I looked at it and it was none other then her mom. Who just looked like an older version of Cali. But I wasn't allowed to compare her to her mom. And I respected that. I was a spitting image of my dad and I would hate for anyone to say I was like him in any way.

"It's okay. It will all be okay," I said as I set the phone aside and kissed the top of her head. I still didn't know what her mom had done, but telling someone it would all be okay seemed to work for any situation.

Cali sat up straight and looked at me. Her eyes were filled with that same sadness and emptiness. It looked like there was no more life in them. What I wouldn't give to take her pain all away.

"When I blacked out, I had this dream. It was a flashback and it felt as if I was reliving it. It was so real. And I've had three more times. That's why I woke up crying two night ago. They freak me out."

I nodded my head, unable to respond. I was always left speechless with the things she said. They were things that only she had to go through and I couldn't help. No one could.

"I was seven and it was an afternoon when I was supposed to go the zoo with my mom. I was supposed to see the horses. I wanted to be a famous horse rider when I grew up," she said with a small laugh. This time, she didn't wince in pain when she laughed. At least that was getting better. I had missed her laugh.

"But then out nowhere, she said she couldn't take me. That was going to be my first time to a zoo. But I never went. And I've never been to a zoo. The closest thing was visiting my uncles farm in Wisconsin where he had one horse. But we weren't allowed to ride it. I keep having that dream. And her voice, the living room and my brothers face are way to real."

She started crying again. I pulled her to me and she wrapped her arms around my waist as she leaned her head against my chest. I rested my chin on the top of her head and let her cry. I didn't know how else to help.

Cali's phone started to ring again but neither of us moved. It sounded like she had stopped crying, but she kept her head buried in my chest. The phone stopped ringing and she pulled away.

"I hate that woman more then anyone can imagine. I wouldn't mind if I never saw or heard from again. Just so she can maybe feel the pain she's cost me."

I looked down at the fragile, innocent girl laying in my arms. Something in my heart clicked just then. I vowed to myself, right then and there, that I would give everything for this girl. I would stop at nothing to take away her pain. Because I was in love with Grace Cali Olsen.

Oh holy Jesus. I'm in love with Cali. Oh my god.

"It's gonna be okay. You have us. That's all you need. Now you're tired. Get under the covers," I whispered as I picked her up with one arm and pulled away the covers down. She was already in sweatpants and a tank top so that's what she was sleeping in.

She willingly slipped under the covers and laid her head against the pillow. I looked down at her in my bed. Knowing she was here with me made me happy. I walked the short distance over to the other bed and pulled the back the covers. I heard rustling from behind me and turned to see Cali sitting up.

"Will you lay next to me? Please? I need you," she whispered. It was so quiet I wasn't sure she had really said it. I walked over and she slowly shifted closer to the other side. I got under the covers and wrapped my arms around her. She scooted towards me and rested an arm and her head on my chest.

I felt complete holding her in my arms. I had never felt this way about a girl. Ever. It was all new to me. Everything was so strange.

Oh Cali...what are you doing to me?