My Queen

Chapter Twelve

"Good," I responded, and his gaze softened on me. He seemed relieved.

When I looked at Alec and Isabelle I saw that they were looking at me the same way, "What?" I asked.

Alec cleared his throat, and Isabelle looked away. I found myself looking at Jace, "Nothing." He told me. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Why were you waiting for my reaction, then?" I could've been wrong; I hoped I was. But a part of me felt like they didn't trust me to want him gone. They looked uneasily at each other, and just as Jace's mouth opened I shook my head, "Nevermind." I turned on my heel and walked away. If they didn't trust me, I didn't want to trust them.

I walked into my old room, locking the door behind me. I went to lie on my bed, facing the ceiling. I didn't want to be bothered, but a part of me was scared. I knew that Sebastian was lurking, seemingly in the shadows. My gaze flickered to the closet and I felt a sense of fear creeping up on me. I took a deep breath, rolling onto my stomach and resting my head on the pillow. I ignored the pain from the slice in my chest.

I heard a knock on the door but I ignored it. I heard the handle move, and then someone opening the door. I let out a groan, silently cursing opening runes. I turned away from the door, not caring who it was. I wanted to be alone.

"Clary?" I heard Isabelle's voice and I stayed silent, "Clary, I know you're awake. And I never comfort people, but here I am so talk to me."

I sat up, turning my body to face her, "You all clearly don't trust me." I said, my voice steady. A part of me wanted to cry, but I held it back, "If you don't think that I hate Sebastian as much as you all do, if not more, then I really don't know what to tell you."

"Look, I'll tell you since no one else will." She pushed her hair off of her shoulders and to her back, sitting on the bed and looking at me. I noticed that she wasn't wearing any makeup, save a small amount of mascara. She took a deep breath, "When Sebastian came, he left a book on Hodge's desk. It was about binding, so Jace thought that he might have used a binding rune on you."

"And so he doesn't trust me when I say that he didn't?" I ask, tilting my head.

"How do you know that he didn't?" She responded. I looked at her, unsure of what to say, "And Jace, when he had it, appeared to be normal. He looked like himself."

"I'd know." I said, my voice soft. But I was questioning even myself. I looked away from her, "I don't see why he couldn't just tell me."

"He didn't want to put the same pressure on you that was on him," Isabelle's voice was soft, "To turn yourself in, or hurt yourself if it meant hurting Sebastian."

"Oh." Was all that I said. She stood up, "Come on, go talk to Jace. He's worried."

"Fine." I murmured, standing up. I walked out after her, into the hall. I was surprised to see that Jace waiting right beside my door. Isabelle gave me a wave and walked away, leaving me alone with Jace.

"Clary," he breathed, pulling me into him. I brought my arms up to hug him, but I still felt strange. Even though his concern was justified, I still felt as though he was faulting me in someway. But if I wasn't bound to him, what would explain me kissing him? The marriage runes, maybe, but Jace didn't seem to think that would have caused it.

"What did Sebastian say when he came?" I asked, pulling away. He looked down at me, seeming hesitant. He took a few strands of my hair between his fingers, playing with it gently.

"He talked about what you did with him," he responded, his voice low. I felt my heart sink, "Told me that you begged him for more."

"That isn't true," A wave of anger courses through me, "He lies, Jace. You know that."

"I know," He tucked the few strands behind my ear, looking into my eyes, "I know."

"Then why would you believe him?" I shook my head, confused.

"Because it might not have been you doing it-"

"Jace," I took a moment, "Isabelle told me your theory. I can't be bound to him. I have a gash in my chest and on my hand, you surely would've been able to see something on him when he came."

"And he would've most likely used an iratze already," Jace murmured, thinking, "If not to protect himself, to protect you. But maybe he knows that we think-"

"Or maybe he left that book on the desk to stir up trouble." I told him.

"Maybe." He sighed, "Either way, we'll figure this out. We can get you two unlinked if you are. We'll figure this out."

I nodded, looking up at him. I knew what I would do if we were linked. I knew that I was willing to die for this, if it meant Sebastian being gone for good. But I didn't have the heart to tell Jace, so instead I just stood on my toes and kissed him.