The One That Got Away

Chapter 10: Dreams

"Oh my god!" I yelled. "Ughhhhh!" This headache was killing me. I also had dry mouth, dizziness, and nausea.

I don't know if diarrhea was a side effect of a hangover but I sure was on the toilet every three seconds.

Thank god my party was on a Saturday so that meant I had a whole day to sleep it off (Sunday).

I went to lay back on Pooh bear's couch. I closed my eyes and started dreaming.

I walked to my mother's room to find her in the bed sleeping. She looked so peaceful unlike how she was when she was awake.

I went over to the bed to place a kiss on her cheek. I gently bent down puckering my lips but she woke up and grabbed my hair.

She pulled hard. "Ow!..Ouch! Let go mom please."

"I need it. I need it." She yelled.

"Please let go." I yelled crying. I tried to pry her fingers off my hair but she had a unbelievable tight grip.

At this point I could feel my hair popping away from my scalp.

"Where is my cocaine huh? Your father is never hear and you're the only one in the house. My shit is missing. I need it." She yelled viciously.

"I don't have it. What are you talking about?" I cried.

"I need it. I need it. I need it." She chanted.

I couldn't take it anymore. She was never here for me and she had the nerve to accuse me of stealing cocaine?

I don't even do cocaine. Why the fuck would I need cocaine? I was angry. I was more then angry, I was infuriated.

How could she just not be there for me like that? How could she miss my last 3 birthdays? How could she just not care about me?

"Let go!" I yelled at her referring to the hand she still had on my hair.

"I need it. I need it." She yelled.

I jumped on top of her. I punched her and punched her until my arms grew tired. I punched her until I couldn't punch her anymore and when I couldn't punch her anymore I choked her.

"Stop. Please!" She cried. Now she was the one begging and it felt good to hear.

Her limp arm dropped letting go of my hair. When she let go of my hair, I let go of her neck and only then did it hit me what I had just did.

"Oh my god!" I yelled sobbing. "No, no, no!" I said shaking her limp body.

"I'm sorry mom. I'm so so so sorry. Please wake up" I bawled "Please. I never meant for this to happen."

I woke up to someone shaking me. It was Pooh bear. My eyes were wet meaning I had been crying.

"Oh my god. You just kept screaming please, and that you're sorry. Are you okay?" She asked freaking out.

"No." I said crying.

She pulled me into her shoulder and I cried into her arm. She even dropped a few tears. We stayed like that for about 30 minutes.

*-

I saw Joshua in the hall way. I really needed to talk to him. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the back of the school where nobody really ever comes.

I didn't even know what to say. Ugh, this was a stupid ass plan. "Um, hey." I said looking at the ground.

"Danielle" he said using his index finger to lift my head up "What's up?"

I took a huge deep breathe. "I don't remember everything that happened the night of my party but I do remember some things and --"

"And you remembered me kissing you." He said finishing my sentence.

"Yeah" I said slowly. "I just wanted to know...never mind this was stupid." I said looking back at the ground.

"You wanted to know did it mean anything?"

Damn, was this boy reading my mind. "It did. It meant everything to me. I've wanted to kiss you ever since I first met you and when you were drunk I didn't plan for it to happen. Seeing you grinding on that other boy had made me so mad I just--"

I stood on my tippy toes and I kissed him. He immediately kissed back. I had been waiting forever to do that.

He pulled away. "I can't be with you." He said. Now it was his turn to look down.

"What? W-why?" That stung a little bit.

"I'm Joshua Davis. The leader of U.D.N. I consistently have a target on my back and if you get involved with me you will too and I won't be able to live with myself knowing I was the cause of you getting hurt or even killed." He said looking me directly in my eyes.

"I don't care. I'm not scared of any gang okay. I just want to be with you. Please don't take that away from me." I said with tears in my eye. I didn't even know I felt this way but after hearing him say that I couldn't let him slip away. I really did like him. Maybe even loved him.

"We can't" He mumbled.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my head in the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

I looked up into his hazel eyes. "If you could look me in my eyes and tell me you don't want this and tell me that you don't feel the way I feel about you towards me then I'll leave you alone."

"I-i don't, I don't want this. I don't feel the same way about you as you feel about me." He stated holding his head down.

At this moment the tears I was holding back were now pouring down.

"Fine, then I'll leave." I said in a cracking voice turning to walk away.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back into his chest. "I don't want this, I need this. I don't feel the same way about you as you feel to me because I feel stronger for you then you feel for me." He said placing his lips on mine.

We kissed. We kissed slow and passionately like we would never kiss again.