This Is My Story.

26 Letters.

18/12/15

No one would ever be able to understand my mind.
Hell I don't even understand my mind.
It's like I've got multiple thoughts going on in my brain all at once.

I could be thinking something, but in the back of my brain thinking something completely different, or even singing a song.
Can someone please explain to me how that works because I would surely love to know.

My mind is a jumbled mess of words, words created from 26 letters.
That's all that there is, 26 letters, no more than that, and they create so many different words, words that we haven't even heard of it.
Words that look funny.
Words that to us don't make sense.
Words that you use so much that it starts to look weird when you spell it.
So many words are made up of just 26 letters.
That's kind of insane don't you think?
Every piece of poetry, every song ever written, all of the millions of books in the world.
They're just 26 letters.
I find that completely remarkable.

I like to think that I am good with words, people tell me that I am.
You see the truth is.
I don't know what I'm writing when I'm writing it.
I mean I do, but my mind drifts, and I go completely off topic and the thing that I really wanted to talk about doesn't get talked about because I've jumped onto something else.

It's like when I am lying in bed and I make up a story to help me sleep, something will happen and I'll completely skip over my brain and start a whole new story whilst in the middle of one, and when I've realised what I have done I try and go back into the first one, and then do the whole process over and over again until I eventually fall asleep.

I guess that's why I think my mind is a mess.
But it never used to be this messy.
It was the beginning of 2014 when my mind turned to mush.. Well actually no, not mush, when my mind started overthinking more than I used to, if that is even possible.

Sometimes my brain short circuits and I just stare into darkness with nothing floating in my brain.

But that's not really true is it? Because our thoughts are the one thing we cannot shut off.
Even in our sleep, it is always working.
We are dreaming, even the people that say they don't, they do, they just simply don't remember.

Our brains are always in full power mode, at least mine is 99% of the time.

I wish I could shut it off though, you know when you're just inside your head and you need to scream and let it all out, yeah those are the times I wish I could turn off.

I'm not entirely sure where I am going with this to be honest, I normally have something to go by when I start.

But this is simply a jumbled mess of words, created from 26 letters.