I don't think I can bear to stand here one more minute without cutting.
They say that there are two kinds of bad people: The people who commit crimes, and the people who see a crime being committed and don't do anything about it. Currently I am the second kind of bad person, watching Will commit the crime of malpractice.
'We' were performing a simple craniotomy (meaning he was performing it and would swat my hand every time I tried to help) before he hit a bleeder in the brain, and blood squirted everywhere. While I stood there staring at him, he tried to stop the bleeding but couldn't find the source.
I know exactly what to do, a technique I read about in one of my favorite books, 'Boardman's guide to Neurosurgery.' I have a feeling Will doesn't read much, because he's standing here while the patient bleeds to death, like a deer in the headlights.
"Are you gonna do something?!" I yell this time, I'm done asking him politely. "Junior, you know I like you but if you don't shut the hell up!" I want to slap him across the face, but instead I laugh wildly.
"No, I will not shut the hell up! You're sitting here and watching your patient die!" "I'm thinking, and if you would shut up and stop talking, I could figure out what to do!" I look over to the monitor and groan in frustration. The patient's pressure is plummeting, along with their vitals.
Looking back and forth between Will and the patient, I make my decision. "Move over." I say manually pushing him out of the way. "Cauterizer, please." I ask the new scrub nurse, who tentatively places it in my hand. The last nurse was fired.
I begin to cauterize gently, the heat will burn off the artery, which will stop the bleeding. "Junior! Step away from the table!" Wills voice doesn't scare me anymore, not the way it used to. "I will not stand here while you kill this patient!" I snap back at him, continuing to cauterize.
"This is my OR! Get back NOW!" He yells, and I shake my head, simply choosing not to answer. "I swear if you don't back away now.." He growls. "Let me work!"
"I am your superior! I am the Chief of surgery! You WILL listen to me! Back away from the surgical table immediately!" I can hear the silence, everyone in the gallery must think I'm on crack to ever go up against Zeus. He should think twice about controlling me, because he stopped being Zeus in my mind a long time ago.
"Shut the hell up!" I yell at him. His jaw drops, along with everyone else's in the room. He was asking for it, I have zero patience for anyone these days. "Get the hell out of my OR!" He rages, and I ignore him completely.
"JUNIOR!" He practically screams, but I won't stop until I have fulfilled my duty as a care giver. I wasn't gonna sit there and watch him kill a man.
Over and over again he screams, and just when I think he might explode (his face has turned a nice shade of Crimson) I finish up my work. The monitor stops beeping rapidly, indicating that the patient's pressure has returned to normal, and that his vitals are where they should be now. "There! That's how you save a dying patient!" I yell at Will pointing to the surgical table. "JUNIOR!"
I turn to the nurses. "You can close him up now." Will is irate.
"I'm leaving now! Are you happy?!" I spit, and storm out of the OR.
I hear the door slam as he follows me out, speed walking to keep up with my impossible pace. "What the hell is wrong with you!" He yells, probably drawing the undivided attention of everyone in the hallways. "I wasn't gonna sit by and watch you kill a patient!" I yell right back, turning my back to him at the nurse's station.
