What He Wouldn't Give (Unedited Version)

Chapter Thirteen: Ghosts From The Past

            On the way home Eli stopped by the medical center in town and asked when Luke was going into surgery. He was told by the end of the week that he was just being watched and made sure he would be ready for surgery sooner than later. So with that information, Eli returned home to pay the bills and cook himself dinner. He was once again, alone. He didn't want to remember the last time he felt truly alone. After eating dinner Eli got on his longboard with his guitar in hand and skated to the cemetery to visit his mom and show her his new song he wrote for her. Yet it wasn't clique and about her, he just wrote it in her memory as it was his life.

            "My foot slips from the edge, I feel like I'm falling. Nothing's holding me up, the support beams broken. I'm falling faster with each breath I take...I try to run, but I'm left standing where I started. Every time I make a move, it's in the opposite direction. I'm falling and there's nothing I can do to save myself..."

            He began explain to his mom that he hadn't gotten that far in the song and that Declan came back to which left him with mixed emotions about how to feel about him coming back into his life at the moment. He talked about how Luke was going into surgery for a kidney transplant by the end of the month next week and how Luke had managed to drink to the edge of life. Eli sat next to her grave strumming random chords, chord progressions, and strings as he thought over the conversation, or yelling match that went on earlier.

            Strumming muted strings and counting himself in, "1...2...3... Where were you," He screamed, "when I was at my worst? I've had nights worse than you've ever seen." The stopped and shook his head. It sounded better when he screamed it off the top of his head. He placed the flowers he picked up on the way and placed them around her grave and cleared the dead ones away. After talking to his mom for another hour he got up and began to walk home not feeling like using his long board. Tired, is all he felt. He worked over time today, he had to go over to the Kings house sometime during the week to record his music video with Mr. King as he was the one who got Izzy into what she loved to do.

            He chose to the song Maps, originally by Maroon 5 and use Our Last Night's version for the video. He got home and he just wanted to collapse on his bed; however, when he did manage to lay down he felt himself wake up the total opposite of what he wanted and felt. He hated that his two best friends were at college, but he couldn't do anything than get used to being alone again it seemed. Luke hadn't talked much to Eli before he went to the center leaving Eli alone once again to be the adult. He was eighteen, but he didn't want the title of adult just yet.

            Thoughts kept him awake all night and just as he could close his eyes Eli's alarm clock went off and he had to get ready for another day at the garage fixing people's cars. Yawning he grabbed his old worn out pair of jeans and he shirt he had to wear before he grabbed a quick shower.

            Grabbing the toast as it popped out of the toaster and trying to button his shirt, Eli raced around the corner of the kitchen and caught his side on the granite counter top. Trying not to swear or spill the juice in his hand, he carefully set the glass down and lifted his now fully buttoned shirt to examine the damage that was done. A bruise, funny he hadn't seen a bruise on his body in such a long time, two months or so. Ever since high school ended things around the house had changed and with Luke gone it was good despite everything else.    

            Finding his keys in his shoe he picked them up and slid the shoes on racing out the door to his truck and to the garage. Getting to the garage his boss immediately called him into his office and right away Eli knew this couldn't be good. He started off with a sigh and Eli couldn't force himself to sit down. Eli knew that this meant he screwed up and was about to lose his job. He didn't try to cry easily, but life hasn't been kind to him so he had a harder time trying to keep his composure in bad situations.