THE CHAPPIE AWARDS - REVIEWS

The Thief Heir. Short story.

Genre:

Short Story Fantasy

Short Summary of the Story:

 Written for the Lisa Mcmann Short Story Contest.  Adriel is a thief on the run, who is also the last among the Kitsunes with magic. His only protection is a young fairy thief, Elric. What happens when a pack of wolves picks up their scent?

Review:

 This short story was written for a contest with a beginning prompt. I appreciate the way the author has let her imagination run wild and directed the story to a plot which is completely creative and almost impossible to expect. It does not naturally link with the beginning and ends up being the high point in the story. However, even if it being a short story is taken into consideration, the author seems to have written in a fashion expecting the readers to directly catch up with the characters and the plot. This story seems more like a chapter midway in an ongoing story than an independent venture. The characters are varied, exhibit the right kind of novelty and precisely give the story the zing it needs. They are real and relatable. For a change, the lead isn't a sacrificing philanthropist. The action scene has been described well...I could visualize it. The story ends perfectly, at a stage where it could be a conclusion or a prelude to further propulsion.

Suggestions to the writer:

 Try modifying the story such that it feels introductory and descriptive at the same time.

 The episode pertaining to Sal's flirting could be avoided. Seems kind of irrelevant.

  If you decide to continue the story, subtly build up the characters through flashbacks and circumstantial detailing.

Final Verdict:

 *** out of *****