THE CHAPPIE AWARDS - REVIEWS

Chase. Chapter - 2.

Genre:

Mystery/Suspense.

Short Summary of the Story:

Cole Rees saved Zephyr Colloins life when she was only seven years old and struck by lightening. Orphaned Zephyr and Cole become best friends as soon as she is released from the hospital and start dating in high school. On a stormy night, she disappears and Cole embarks on a journey to find her...on the way re-evaluating what really matters to himself.

Short Summary of the Chapter:

Written in Cole's point of view, 10 years back, it describes the day he found Zephyr sprawled on the grass hit by lightening, him touching her and ending up in the hospital.

Review:

   The first thing that strikes you on reading this chapter is that it has been written in the Second Person. It is not a common way to write fiction in, unless it is an instruction manual or 'Do-it-yourself' kit. You could include it in modern fiction if you want the readers to be the protagonist...and here it is written in the form of an address. So the use of Second person writing, somehow doesn't seem appropriate to me. Apart from that, the plot of the story is original, creative and a breath of fresh air. Though storm chasers have been done before, this story has a brand new perspective on it. The intrigue and suspense associated with it are appealing and keeps the reader hooked. I especially like the italicised version of Cole's imagination. It was artfully done and adds to the novelty factor of the story. 

  I found a few grammatical errors..Editing this story again would help.

Recommended!

Suggestions to the writer:

Include more dialogues.

Emotions can be described in detail.

Somehow the hospital scene hasn't been portrayed by a child's point of view. It appears more mature. Try changing it to how a child would perceive the entire happening.

Final Verdict:

*** out of *****.