eight

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Nico doesn't appears at school on monday.
Octavian does, but I couldn't care less right now.
The whole day I hope Nico will be there for lunch, but he isn't, the next day I'm alone as well, and also the following day, and the day after this one.

I don't want to visit him at home, since I'm probably the reason he doesn't appear anymore at all, but I wish I could see him.
Hopefully he is alright, or at least not less alright than he is usually.
I don't know who I could ask for him either, since I seem to be the only person in the whole school that actually cares.

I should not have kissed him, I should have been more careful, I just wanted him to get better, why do I have to mess everything up?
The Friday starts like all the other days did too. The empty seat next to me in the first lesson. The slightly hope he might come through the door, even he doesn't.
For lunch I go to the empty classroom again, but I immediately realize that something changed, even it takes me a while to figure out what - someone removed the sentence from the blackboard that used to be written on there - 'Our little group has always been and always will until the end.' instead now something is written over it in the same handwriting 'It's better to burn out than to fade away.'

I drop my food and run out of the school, all through the town.
I know Nico didn't got a car, but still...
I don't know why I panic so much - or no, that's wrong, I do know why I panic so much, I just don't want to get it into words.
The things Nico said, that he didn't came to school anymore at all, that he changed the thing on the blackboard...
I run and run, even my body is basically killing me, until I finally arrive at Nicos house.
The door isn't locked, I can just walk inside, it looks like someone would have hurried a lot and would have been really nervous.

I rush into Nico's room, where he sits on the floor, a gun in his hand. He doesn't seem to see me, or anything, he just slowly pulls the trigger of the gun that points on his head.

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