A New Beginning

34

I sat on the edge of the chasm, dangling my feet over the edge. Tears fell steadily down my cheeks. I looked down to the bottom, which I could not see. I thought about jumping in. I just killed my daughter. That's when I promised myself to never have another kid ever again. A figure sat next to me, dangling its feet over the edge beside me.

"You did what you had to do." a familiar voice said

I recognized it immediately. The voice belonged to Christina.

"They told you?" I asked, my voice cracking

"I was there when she got shot. Uriah just told me a few minutes ago. I figured you would be here." Christina said gently

"I just didn't want her to suffer here any longer." I whispered

"I understand. Unfortunately, Four doesn't. He's pretty angry. Flipped a couple empty beds. They restrained him." Christina said, trying to sugar coat it wasn't an option here

I stayed silent, in fear that I would say the wrong thing. I tried to look further down the chasm. I thought I could see Al at the bottom but then I remembered that they took him out years ago.

"I know this isn't the time to say this but I need your opinion." Christina said, adjusting her sitting position to a standing one

I looked up at her. "What?" I asked

"I'm pregnant. I haven't told Will yet. I don't even know if I want it or not." Christina said, her voice shaking

"Keep it. If you don't want it when you deliver, give he or she to Shauna and Zeke." I said, standing up

"Why Shauna and Zeke?" Christina asked, worry in her voice

"Ever since Shauna's injury, she hasn't been able to have kids of her own. That's why Zeke is so irritable now." I said quietly. "He threatened to fire me today."

She stayed quiet in front of me. I walked away, walking as fast as I could. My fast walk quickly turned into a sprint. I ran out of Dauntless.

I'm so selfish, I just ended someone's life what's wrong with me!!!! I thought

I ran to the train tracks. I sat down slowly on the edge. I laid back, letting my body lay flat on the rails as I looked up at the sky. I heard the train. I smiled to myself. I closed my eyes waiting for the hit. I felt a hit coming from my lower legs. I flew in the air before hitting the ground with a thud. I opened my eyes.

Tobias was on top of me as the train went by in the background. I let the tears slip. Tobias got off of me and sat on the ground, cradling me close to his chest.

"Sh. It's okay. It's over." Tobias whispered as he ran his fingers gently through my hair.

We sat on the ground by the tracks for a while. Then Tobias picked me up and carried me like a baby back to the compound. I buried my face in his chest. I heard chatter as Tobias walked through the compound. I heard a door open and close. I felt Tobias sit down. He let go of me.

We were in our apartment. I laid on the bed, crying whatever tears I had left. Tobias laid next to me, holding me close.

"You did what was best Tris." Tobias cooed.

"I killed her. I killed our daughter." I whispered, another round of tears threatening to spill over.

"You didn't kill her." Tobias said gently

Then there was a knock on the door. Tobias unwrapped his arms from around me and went to answer the door.

"How is she?" Uriah's voice asked

"Come in." Tobias said

I heard the door close. I kept staring at the wall, not wanting to even exist.

"I can't imagine what she's going through." Uriah whispered

"She's slept a little bit but not much." Tobias whispered back.

I heard Uriah mumble something but I couldn't hear him.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Tobias yelled

"I just found out a few minutes ago! I came straight here!" Uriah yelled

I felt the bed dip beside me. I rolled over onto my back to see a smiling Tobias.

"Come on. They want us in the infirmary." He said, standing up

I stood up.

"Could she?" I asked Uriah with wide eyes

Uriah smiled. I bolted out of the apartment. I ran to the infirmary with Tobias right behind me. The nurses looked at me. They led us back into a room. There she was. Happy. Healthy.

My knees threatened to fail beneath me. Tears spilled out of my eyes. I walked over to the bed. Britney patted the bed beside her. I sat down and hugged her close to me. She wrapped her small arms around me.

"I love you mama."