A New Beginning

21

Tris POV
I laid on my side in a fetal position on the bed as tears fell onto my cheeks. Uriah was holding my hand and Hector was sitting next to me on the bed. Zeke walked into the room.

"What did you do?" Hector asked

"Knocked him to the ground. He called her weak and pathetic." Zeke said

He sat at the foot of my bed. Will and Christina came in. Christina gasped.

"Oh my god. Did Four make her like this?" Christina said as she sat at the door of my bed next to Zeke

"Yeah. Don't worry I already beat him up for it." Zeke said

"I've never seen her like this." Will said

The nurse walked over to us. She unhooked me from the machine so I could leave.

I sat up and Uriah helped me off the bed. We walked out of the infirmary. We started towards Uriah's apartment.

"Tris!" Four yelled

I looked back only to see Zeke punch him in the face again. Uriah opened the door to his apartment. Everyone came in. I laid down in the couch because I felt a little dizzy. Christina sat at my feet. Uriah closed the door behind Zeke who was last in.

"I still can't believe Four would do that." Hector said as he sat down on the floor in front of the couch

"He's a jerk." Zeke said

"That's shocking coming from Zeke's mouth." I said

"You're my so close to being my sister. If you were my real sister he'd be in the infirmary." Zeke said

"Anybody want anything to drink?" Uriah asked

"Water please." Christina said

"I'll take a water too thanks Uri." Will said

"Water." Hector said

"Get water for everyone Uri." Zeke said

"Tris?" Uriah asked

"No I'm fine." I said

Uriah gave everyone a water.

"I hate to say it Tris, please don't kill me, but you look terrible." Will said

"I'll take a water bottle now." I said

Uriah tossed me a water bottle. I threw it at Will. It hit him square in the face. He fell over. It felt good. I sat up trying not to crush Hector's hand. Hector stood up.

"What?" Uriah asked

"Oh no. Here she goes. Save the knife boards!" Hector yelled

I got up and ran to the training room with Hector, Christina, Will, Zeke and Uriah on my tail. I grabbed knives from the table and threw three at once. Everyone took a few knives and started throwing. I load my training pants pockets with them. I threw multiple knives at a time and everyone else tried.

Zeke failed. Uriah did it once. Hector did it. Christina and Will did it.

"For how bad you were in initiation Will I'm surprised." I teased

That brought up a terrible memory I tried so hard to forget.

Flashback
A team of Dauntless were pulling up a rope from the bottom of the chasm. They pulled it up all the way. Al was on the bottom of it. I gasped. This was all my fault. He died because I didn't forgive him.
Flashback over

I shook the thought out of my head and threw a few more knives. Al appeared in front of the target. I dropped the knives I was holding. A knife found his chest and he went limp. He hung there. My breath hitched. I closed my eyes and opened them again. Al wasn't there. There was no knives other then the ones I had thrown.

"You okay Tris?" Hector asked

"I just need some space." I said

I emptied my pockets of all knives and left the training room. I wondered around the compound until I eventually went to the roof. I leaned on the ledge. I took deep breaths as tears fell down my cheeks. Everything is my fault. Tobias breaking up with me is my fault. Al's death is my fault. Mom's death is my fault. Dad's death is my fault. Caleb's death is my fault. I am a murderer. Someone came up on the roof. I slipped my hand over the last knife I had in my pocket. I slowly wrapped my fingers around the knife.
Stop it Tris! You are a murderer! No one is gonna love you ever again.

I released the knife.

"Tris, are you okay?" A voice said

Tobias. I took the chance and jumped off the building. Scaling it down to the ground. I went back to the training room. Christina was pacing back and forth. Everyone else was sitting on the fighting mat.

"Can we just go look for her?" Uriah asked

I jumped up on the bars above the room.

"You don't have to." I said

"Who was that? Tris?" Zeke said

"I'm here."

"Where?" Christina asked

"Above you and below you." I said

"I got this." Hector said

I saw him leave and return with a paintball gun. He started shooting the bars. I ran across the bars.

"Above!" Hector yelled

One of the paintballs hit my foot. I fell through the bars and landed next to the fighting mat. Uriah jumped.

"Hello." I said

"Where did you go? What happened?" Christina asked frantically

"Calm down Christina." Will said

"I may have gone to the roof, almost stabbed Four then scaled the building down to the ground." I said

"What?" Christina yelled

Will put his hands on Christina's shoulders.

"Calm down Chris." Will said

"No. I think her response is appropriate. You almost stabbed Four?" Uriah said

"I left an extra knife in my pocket and I went to the roof. He followed me. I didn't want to talk to him." I said

"Speak of the devil." Will said

"Tris." Tobias said

I turned around and threw the knife at the wall next to Tobias. He flinched. I walked out of the training room. Tobias grabbed my arm. I pulled my arm out of his grasp. I walked far away from the training room. Uriah was behind me. Tears started streaming down my face. I stopped walking. Uriah turned me around and wrapped me in his arms.

"Tris,-" Uriah started

"I am a murderer. This is all my fault. All of this is because of me." I said

"Tris, look at the positives. All of this, sure maybe you caused some of it but you are a stronger person and a much better leader. People look up to you."