*****Normani's POV*****
"You gonna sit and stare at that window all day?" I sighed deeply, leaning into her touch as she hugged me to her. I had been sat up at this window all day, watching the rain fall. "You're so pretty when your mind is somewhere else". I smiled slightly. Lauren sat across from me on Dinah's windowsill. Every time I look at the Cuban girl, I remember how lucky I am. I put that girl through hell and she still loved me, against all reason or doubt. Am I going to always be good enough for her love? Or will there be someone else who treated her right from the start?
"You're thinking, aren't you?" "Yeah, am I that obvious", I ask her. She chuckled a bit, but nods in agreement. She pats her lap, gesturing for me to come sit in it. When I do, her arms go to my waist and mine go around her neck. She doesn't immediately ask me to talk. Lauren just comforts me and places gentle kisses on my cheeks. "So are you going to talk to me? I know when something is bothering you babygirl?" I just sigh and rest my head against hers.
I decide it's just not the time to talk. "Mani, babe" she chuckled out nervously as I started kissing down her jawline. She sighed into my touch, and I took that as she was enjoying herself. What kind of lover would I be if I denied me woman of her needs? And to talk about my feelings? That just seemed selfish to me.
"Mmm. Baby girl?" I kissed up to Lauren's earlobe, where my tongue grazed against it. "Yes, Lo?" "As sexy as you are. Believe me, you're extremely sexy..." I batted my eyes and played with my hair, trying to distract her from the matter at hand. "But?" She sighed deeply and ran her fingers through her hair, "But you're obviously feeling something right now, and you're avoiding it".
I just chuckled darkly and ran my thumb across her bottom lip. "You have such pretty lips. I bet they'd feel so good all over my body". I was trying to be her thirst trap, and it was working. The way she looked her lips and tried hopelessly to move her eyes away from my body just proved it all. "Do you really wanna use those lips for talking right now?"
She silently nodded her head no, laying me back on Dinah's windowsill. "You... You're evil, Mani" she breathed out heavily. I wrapped my arms around her neck and played with the short hairs on the nape of her neck. "Am I in trouble baby?" Lauren looked hesitant as I leaned up to kiss her, but I didn't stop. She knows I love her and I just want to be affectionate and yes, avoid my problems. So I flipped get over and got on top of her.
"Lolo" I mumbled as I started to kiss her neck. She just sighs and I continued to suck on her neck. "M-Mani. No babe. Not n-now. We need to talk". I didn't stop though, I just kept kidding and biting down to her collarbone, ignoring her protest. I just needed her physically right now. I didn't want to deal with the emotional baggage I had. "Seriously Normani, that's en-nough" she gasped as I bit into her shoulder. "Just a little while longer".
What she did next shocked me. She put her hands against my shoulders and pushed me up. "Get off, Normani", she groaned out. "C'mon baby. Let me love yo-". "I said get off", she yelled, swinging her arms toward my face. Luckily, I caught her wrist just before she could backhand me. It took me a second just to process exactly what had happened. I had to keep looking between her face and her hand for it to truly set in.
"You... You were gonna hit me?" She couldn't face me. Lauren wouldn't even look me in the eyes. "Normani. I didn't mean anything by it. I just wanted-." I cut her off. "To hit me? Why the hell would you swing at me, Lo?" I could feel my grip start to get tighter on her wrist. "Get off of me!" She pulled arm from my grasp and moved back from me.
"What the hell did I do to you? I was just trying to be affectionate" I yell. "You were only affectionate to ignore your problems". I let out and frustrated growl as I walked back and forth in the room. "I hate it when you fucking do that" I whisper under my breath. "What's that? Say something, Normani. Just put it all out there on the table. I'm a big girl, I can handle it".
"I hate how you get into people's head with all your theories and philosophical bullshit you say". She nodded and stood up to be in my face. "Go ahead. Continue". She rolled her gorgeous green eyes at me. "And then you give me an attitude and roll the gorgeous ass green eyes. I mean, they are lovely...but that's besides the point. You always try to hypnotize me with those things and it makes me mad". She just chuckled and walked to lay on the bed. "And then you treat my emotions like a joke when I'm pouring my heart out to you. After I've done nothing to you!"
That made her shoot up. "You've done nothing?" She paused and laughed for a second. "You really believe that you've done nothing to make me upset? Are you kidding me?" I didn't really think I was wrong here. "I was just tryna be affectionate to my girl. Is that a crime?" "Normani, you wouldn't stop and talk to me. What makes you think stop meant keep going?"
I looked up at her eyes again. They were full of tears instead of rage and anger. "Lauren. Baby, no. No tears." I get down on my knees in front of her, grabbing her hands. "I'm over exaggerating. You didn't mean to make me feel like that. You were just trying to show your love and I was just too scared. And I-". I gently pecked her lips. "How did I make you feel?" "Honestly?" "Honestly." "I felt scared, a little. Like, uncomfortable. Not because you make me feel threatened, I was jusy scared it was going too fast for me. It's just cause of my past relationships, where I felt pressured to do things to keep them with me.".
I got up and sat next to her. "With me, it's not gonna be like that. I want you to feel safe with me at all times, Lo. When I committed to this relationship, I vowed to protect you and love you so that you're comfortable with yourself and I. If you ever feel uncomfortable at all with me, you have to let me know right away Lauren. Okay?" She smiles lightly and wipes her eyes, "okay baby". I gently pulled her in for a hug. "I love you, lo". "I love you too Mani?"
Ultimately, we ended up back on the windowsill. Outside, rain still poured from the sky. I had Lauren resting in between my legs while I played with her hair. Just innocent cuddling. Nothing more. "Hey Nm Lauren". She mumbled in response.
"I...I think I'm willing to talk now".
