Fourtris Now and Forever: Divergent No War

| c h a p t e r 54 |

When he stops kissing me and lifts his head, all I see in his eyes is lust. His hands play with the hem of my shirt and then he removes it completely. Without my shirt on, I feel the desire to be equal with him. His shirt flies off and we just stand there looking at each other for a moment.

I want him, I think to myself. I need him.

His eyes ask an unanswered question and look at me deep. "I want to go further," I whisper as his lips come to greet my jawline.

He groans and his hands travel to my hips, where they squeeze them. He presses me against the nearest wall and our bodies are flush against each other as he kisses me even harder. The wall holds my head in place as his lips crash against mine.

For a moment, I think I won't be able to stand; this isn't enough. He seems to read my thoughts because he boosts me up for a second. I wrap my legs around him and he presses me even further against the wall. His hips rock against mine and I moan as I feel something hard against me.

My breath is hard to get a hold of, but I manage to find my voice. "Can we lay down?" I ask him, desperately.

I remain propped up on his waist as his feet begin walking hurriedly to our bedroom. I kiss him neck on the journey there. When he rushes through the door, he falls on the bed on top of me. His lips meet mine urgently and my hips rock against his hesitantly. He grunts and I almost feel proud of my small accomplishment.

I couldn't imagine our kisses becoming any more passionate than they had been previously, but they somehow do as he rocks his hips against mine again. I moan louder this time.

"Does that feel good?" he asks, wanting post-approval.

I nod. "Yes," I manage to squeak out.

Then, his hands reach the hem of my pants where he proceed in pulling them down. This I'm okay with. I'm just wearing underwear when I decide it's time to be even again. I tug on his belt loops and he gets the idea. They're off before I even count count to five.

I flip him over, moving on top. My knees are on either side of his waist as we continue to kiss. His hands fumble around my back, reaching for the bra strap.

I reach behind and undo it.

+       +       +

My seventh fear seems to disappear each and every day with him. At this point, I'm sure it will be completely gone, that it will lose it's power over me and my actions. Earlier this evening, my fear was almost erased entirely. Truth be told, I might have gone all the way, but I knew Tobias didn't want to push me too far.

Every single piece of my clothes came off tonight except for my underwear. I took a risk with letting my bra come off, but I don't regret it. I love him, and that's all that matters.

Love is one of the only things that is stronger than fear.

Now, I lay wrapped in his arms waiting for sleep to take me. I wear one of his black T-shirts to bed, knowing that from now on, it will be all business with the initiates.

We're both still awake, but we haven't said anything for the past few minutes. My eyes hang with tiredness as I ask, "What was it you wanted to tell me?"

He smiles as I look up at him. He stares at the ceiling. "When you first jumped, all I registered was a grey blur. You were the first Stiff ever to be a first jumper and I was stunned. Even I hadn't jumped first. I went last. I threw my hand out to you along with all the others. You could have easily picked any other hand but mine. But you didn't.

"When I pulled you out, the first thing I saw were your eyes. They were wide and bright blue. You surprised me and that's what made me notice you. Challenging me at your first meal, yelling at me after I threw knives at you.

"That was actually the first day I admitted to myself that I liked you. When you were practicing, I used to watch you and I would always be scared Eric would catch me. I think he did that day and that's why he had me throw the knives. It was a test. He wanted to know if I could do it to the girl I had a crush on.

"I wasn't usually uneasy about my aiming, but I was on that day. And that's when I realized that I liked you. I'd never been successful on any front with a girl and I tried to do little things to try and hint to you that I cared. Every time I was alone after seeing you, I would smile like an idiot, trying to replay the memories in my head. I tried to shake you from my mind and push past my feelings at first, but I couldn't.

"I don't know when exactly I started loving you, but it was something I couldn't have stopped if I had tried. And it's something I wouldn't even want to change."

I blush, almost blinking back tears. He wanted me to tell me a story as a little present for the new initiation.

His hand strokes my cheek as I whisper, "That was beautiful, Tobias."

He smiles, then says, "What was it like for you?"

I contemplate my words steadily. "The first time I saw you was in the hallways at school. I didn't make much of it. You were just an older student walking to his next classes. You were just a face in the crowd at that point.

"When I made the jump and I grabbed your hand, you literately were one face in a crowd, but you weren't to me anymore. You helped me get through initiation, and though there were points where I was extremely confused or angered, there were points where I was grateful. When I saw your landscape, I saw you for the first time. I didn't see you as Four or my instructor anymore.

"I knew I liked you, but I kept quiet and constantly tried to ignore and deny it. But then you kissed me and I let every single piece of me just fall.

"Then, with my fear landscape, I was so worried you'd seen it. That you saw I was weak. I was scared you wanted me just to take advantage of me and then leave me when the time came. But then we had that conversation and I felt assured of us again. Even more so, actually.

"And I love you Tobias Eaton. I wish I could say more but I'm really tired right now," I say with a weak laugh.

He kisses my forehead and whisper, "I love you. Goodnight, babe."

"Goodnight," I whisper back, the word falling from my lips as sleep catches me more easily than before our quick exchange.

I sleep comfortably wrapped in his strong and reassuring arms. I know, that with him, I can get through this. I won't let the words get to me. After all, they are just a bunch of letters arranged in different ways. If I wanted to, I could change what she said by rearranging them.

It's funny how something so simple and harmless such as a letter could be warped into something malicious. It almost doesn't make sense how they could be so beautiful or so grotesque based on the rearrangement.

A/N

I'm writing this at midnight once again so you'll have to excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes. I'm just extremely tired which is why I ended it with a falling asleep scene.

This was basically a filler, but I really missed Fourtris scenes and felt like Tris needed more reassurance going into the rest of initiation.... she'll need it *wink*

Okay so Florida literally needs to get it's crap together haha lol. The temperatures haven't even dropped below 70 degrees and it has been raining nonstop for the past two days!

Also, I fell down the stairs last night oops lol. I got an MRI today of my knee from an injury two weeks ago... I slightly tore my meniscus. Good news is I don't need surgery and I should be able to play and ski on it in 1-2 weeks! Yay!

Okay, enough of my boring life, please vote and comment if you enjoyed this chapter. Comments are a huge impetus in the starting of a new chapter.

Goodnight!! Have a wonderful day/night <4

Love from Jenna