Clowning Around

Chapter 11

"Was she home by ten?" asked Jonathan Crane, entering the dining room the next morning with Lenore on his arm.

"She hasn't returned yet," replied Tetch, who was making breakfast. "So I can assume their reconciliation has been a success."

"Wonderful," said Crane, dryly, as he reached for some toast to feed Lenore.

"I've told you, Jonathan, losing her is not the end of the world," said Tetch. "You will find that special woman yet, I promise you."

"I wish I had your confidence," he replied. "But I suppose I can't complain, really. I already have a sweet and devoted woman in my life," he said, petting Lenore gently. "And I have an incredible friend who's willing to put up with my tempers and mood swings, no matter how radical."

"Well, what else are friends for?" asked Tetch, handing him a plate of bacon and eggs.

"Aside from free food and board, I haven't the foggiest," replied Crane, grinning.

A knock came on the door. "That may be Harley," said Tetch, standing up and opening the door.

"Hi, Jervis! Just come to collect my stuff...Mr. J, stop it! You naughty boy!" giggled Harley. "I'm sorry, Jervis, he's been like this all night! Can't keep his hands to himself! But I guess you can't really blame him – make up sex is the best! I think the reason me and Mr. J fight so much is just so we can have fantastic make up sex!"

Tetch re-entered the dining room, rolling his eyes. "I suggest you stay in here until they've gone," he muttered.

"Nonsense, Jervis – I can't allow the clown to get to me. That's what he wants," retorted Crane, standing up and heading for Harley's room. She was attempting to pack, but the Joker kept playfully spanking her every time she walked past or bent over the suitcase, until she finally just gave up, throwing herself into his lap and mauling his mouth.

"Oh...Johnny!" she exclaimed, suddenly noticing Crane and trying to sit up. "C'mon, puddin', let go," she said, as he held her down on his lap.

"No, there's no need," said Crane. "I've just come to say goodbye, really. And to tell you how glad I am that you're happy again. You should always be smiling, Harley. It's the definition of beautiful."

He nodded at her and turned to go, but Lenore fluttered off his arm and landed on Harley's shoulder, nuzzling against her cheek and then flying off after Crane.

He re-entered the kitchen and finished his breakfast. The door to Harley's room shut, and then she appeared in the doorway, holding her suitcase, with the Joker's arm firmly around her waist.

"Uh...just wanted to thank you both for putting me up," said Harley. "And...uh...if I could have a quick word with Johnny...Mr. J, why doncha go with Jervis into the living room and he can show you some pictures of his goddaughter?"

"Why would I wanna look at pictures of some dumb kid?" demanded Joker.

"Because I wanna have a quick word with Johnny alone," repeated Harley. "And it might make you wanna have kids of our own. Please, puddin'."

He sighed. "All right, Hatty, hit me with 'em. There are like, what, twenty?"

"Try multiplying that by a hundred," replied Tetch.

"Harley..." began Joker, turning back to her desperately, but Tetch shut the door, leaving Crane and Harley alone.

Lenore flew back over to Harley, cooing happily. "I...uh...thinks she wants you to stay," murmured Crane.

"She's a sweetheart," agreed Harley, petting her. "But she was raised by you, so she's gotta be."

She sat down next to him. "Uh...look, Johnny, I don't want things to be awkward between us or anything," she said. "I would say...I'm sorry that I can't love you, but I ain't. I ain't sorry because I know I'm not the girl for you, and deep down I think you know it too. Mr. J's the guy for me. Sure, he ain't a nice gentleman like you, but that's not the kinda guy I belong with. I ain't a nice, gentle person myself."