Chasing Amy (Daryl Dixon/The Walking Dead)

Chapter 51 - Baby Blues

An uneasy feeling had already nestled into the back of Rick's head.

He waited for Lori to follow behind, that uneasy feeling becoming a hesitant instinct in his stomach that ached to the core. Rick held his breath in anticipation...

But she never followed.

Lori never returned like she had when Carl was born, never had that frail, gorgeous, smile on her lips as the two proud parents gazed down at their child. She never knew what it was like to hold her own beautiful baby, to have those tiny hands wrapped around her finger, to have those conversations on the future... Never to have a future with her own children.

Rick was never to see the look of joy in her eyes as she held her baby, their baby... He was never to hold his entire family in his arms, to tell his wife just how much their child looked like her... Never to see her smile again, never to share the tears of joy, the kiss on the cheek, never to hear her soft coos.

Rick hadn't noticed, but his eyes had becomes stonily fixed on his son, the lump in his throat growing evermore. He found his eyes following the weight in Carl's shoulders to where, in his left hand, he loosely held a gun.

Rick hesitantly dropped the axe he held in his opposite hand. Before rubbing harshly as his eye, to rid himself of the thought that creeped into his mind in that horrific moment.

Rick shook his head quickly, almost pleadingly, towards Maggie, waiting for her to say it wasn't true... Waiting for her to say anything to deny the thought that was crossing his mind as his own son so tightly gripped a gun in his bloody hand.

Maggie bit her lip as she held back more tears, an odd few slipping down her cheek and landing on the head of the tiny baby below.

"Well..." Rick wobbled, "W-Where is she?" He moved back a little, before stepping sideways, almost in a delusional trance. It seemed his world was spinning as he rubbed his hand on his chest, tears springing to his eyes. "Where is she?"

He paused when his eyes landed on the doorway the three had entered the courtyard through.

"N-No..." Maggie tried to push Rick away from it as he moved to look closer, but the baby in her arms made it difficult.

Rick, however, only took a moment to briefly stare at the blood that coated her arms, that rubbed off into his shirt... Lori's blood.

He turned away, kept walking, because he didn't know how else to react. He was so lost in his own thoughts, memories, he had slipped into a trance-like state of mind.

In fact, whilst the group behind him was watching, Rick was unravelling swiftly.

Daryl found himself distancing away from the situation, as Glenn moved past him to where Maggie stood, sobbing silently with the baby clutched in her shaking arms.

But Carl hadn't moved an inch.

The moment Rick slowed beside him, stopped making his way to the place where Lori had died, Carl found that he couldn't move.

He didn't dare move.

And Rick had quickly realised why.

"Oh..." He looked down at the gun again, eyes watering heavily. "Oh, no..."

"No!" Rick yelled, his lips parting as he breathed heavily, tried to refrain from releasing the sobs that ached to bring some kind of relief to his tense body. "No, Carl..."

He pressed his hands to his eyes, tried to wipe the tears away before they'd actually arrived, but he held back as his son continued to stare at a protruding crack in the concrete.