Aries- will throw all your personal items out the window, and set your car on fire. If you're lucky you won't be inside. Most likely luck won't be on your side...just saying.
Taurus- they will put itching powder in your clothing and maybe will add rat poison to your food...but still casually dates you.
Gemini- give your computer a virus, break your phone, and throw eggs on your house.
Cancer- call your fucking mom and tell them what a major ass disappointment you are. They will turn people against you, even if it's family.
Leo- threaten you with public humiliation and they will take all the money from your bank account without you knowing, and leave you in less than an hour to another state and you will never see them again.
Virgo- stalk you to understand what they did to make you cheat (but will decide you are just an asshole) and they will smear peanut butter on your hard drive and keyboard.
Libra- sell your information to a sketchy website and allow 14 year old to use your ID to get wine coolers, and they will post your personal stuff all over the internet.
Scorpio- smile and walk away (*you go missing two days later*)
Saggitarius- leave and never look back
Capricorn- pretend like nothing happened, then tells all your friends and family that you died in a car accident....or that you will die in an 'accident'
Aquarius- texts you 90 times of what a loser you are and then blocks your number and forgets about you in two minutes.
Pisces- stares at a wall for a day wondering 'where did I go wrong?' Then burns down your house and assumes it was just a bad dream.
