Attack On Titan Jokes

Character X Reader Rules

Ah, my good old friend. Character X Reader fanfics. I've stumbled across a few that are touching, and a lot that are just. Plain. Wrong.

I have seen some Cur-ayzee 💩 on wattpad. CRAZY.

Now, I know there are some people (like me) who freak out when they see this stuff. And they throw their devices across the room when they see even the slightest bit of... Well... *cough cough*

Every time I read one, you, aka the reader, ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS give in to the freakn flirtation moves. I'm always like, wtf bro.

If you ever get stuck in one of those stories, the reader should follow these rules:

1. If any of the characters begin to lock you into a room, immediately run out closest exit, even if it means the window.

2. If you are too late and are presently locked into a room (no escape), hide under the closest pile of clothes/blankets and keep at least a 5 foot distance away from the character. AVOID ALL CLOSETS AND BATHROOMS IN THE ROOM.

3. If he tells you to do anything that may concern your clothes, recite the following sentence: "B*TCH SLAP!" And then b*tch slap him.

4. If he backs you into a corner with no escape and begins to near you, this is a last resort thing, Knee him in the stomach. Then repetitively scream as you run out of the room: HE TRIED TO RAPE ME!

5. If he has you trapped in a rope or something that can't be broken...

Skip to the end of the story and cringe, because there is no freakn' way you are going to get out of that one.

*6. (This only applies if you are injured in the story). If you are injured and are incapable of some movements, and he makes a move, use your freakn cast and swing at him on the head! Dude! That stuff is so hard that it can break his bones! Then proceed with the screaming from rule 4.

So, the moral of this chapter is:

If ANY character is trying to do weird things to you, don't be a stupid reader: GTFO.

COMMON SENSE PEOPLE! USE YOUR FREAKN' BRAINS FOR ONCE!