Then It All Goes To Hell (Larry Stylinson Trilogy)

Chapter 59: We Deserve

"No, don't do that. That's not-"

"Harry, how many times have you fucken apologized to me all these years? You're not apologizing for things you did, you're basically apologizing for my idiotic decisions. I should have distanced myself the minute I found out you had a dangerous life and past and I didn't. This thing between us, should have never made it past the flirting mark, and I've grown up to realize that. I'm twenty four now, not seventeen, I don't need anyone making excuses and apologizing for my actions. You don't have to apologize anymore, I know where we both stand and our faults."

Harry leered in deep thought at Louis and could only acknowledge the ache in his heart at the sight in front of him, apparent time elapsed from the youthful boy he had fell head over heels for. He was now staring back into a soul of a man, not a boy, not one with enthusiasm about the world and what the future held for him. The man with tears and blood running down his bruised face just wanted to survive, and if the easier route was to end his life, he would have.

Harry places Louis' gun behind him, still afraid of what dim thoughts laid there in his mind, audible breath escaping expressing his sadness.

"Well then, at least let me apologize for what I did. I should have never decided to use you as a prop to get revenge on Eleanor for standing between me and Nick. It was wrong of me to play with your naïve mind and use you for my benefit. Even if I ended up loving you at the end, it should have never been under the circumstances our relationship started with. I still feel guilty. I used you. And even if you forgave me, look where that left you. You kept our child. You raised her and went through some trouble to stay on your feet until I took over. If I would have never allowed myself to fall for you, then our relationship would have never been, and we wouldn't be where we are now."

"Life will always throw us what if's, take it as a lesson instead of letting it hold you back."

"If that's how you see challenges, then why don't you take your own advice? What's holding you back from being with us?"

"Be honest with me, Harry. Are you still in love with me or with the memories we once shared?"

Harry's life flashed before his eyes and could feel the torment in his head when images of seventeen year old Louis appeared in his mind, looking down at him with the hugest smile on his face. He could still hear the giggles and the sweet, captivating voice yelling at him the most foolish things which would make his heart swell more and more each day, and he then inspected back the man in front of him, not a smile in sight.

Harry swallowed the discomforting lump in his throat and felt the pain when a tear fell from his eye, registering the truth.

"I don't love you anymore."

The man ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head, panicking.

"Oh my. I-I don't love you anymore."

"Hey hey, calm down,"

Louis kneeled in front of him and took the man into his arms, resting his head on the man's shoulder.

"Louis, how can I not love you. You were everything to me."

"It's part of moving on, it's okay. It's okay."

Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' back and sobbed silently into the crook of his neck in disbelief.

"Louis, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. This is good. You'll finally be freed. Y-You're free.""

Louis' wrapped his arms tighter around Harry's neck and cried into his hair, voice breaking.

"You're going to be able to have such a-a wonderful life now. You deserve it s-so much, Harry. So so much. I-m so happy for you."

The man rubbed his hands up and down Louis back and kissed his feathery hair, feeling overwhelmed.

"You deserve happiness too, Louis."

"I do have it, Harry. It's not the ideal life, but I'm okay. The only thing that kept me from enjoying it was the thought of you not having it. Promise me you'll try and be happy from now on? Promise me."

"I promise."

Louis pulled back from the hug and wiped his eyes, a smile extending on his face.

"Thank you. I might not love you the way I did before, but I will always hold you close in my heart Harry. That's never going to change."

"You'll always be in my heart too, Lou."

Harry wiped his tears and smiled back at Louis.

"Thank you for the wonderful memories Harry. Thank you."

"They wouldn't have been the same without you."

****

Harry gave Louis a vast amount of money to purchase a car, and the man didn't allow him to refuse the check.

Louis leaned down in the door frame and hugged the smaller figure tightly in his arms, kissing the sleek hair.

"You be good to your daddy, you hear me? Even if I'm not here, don't you ever doubt that I love you with all my heart, my little Rose. No matter how far I am, I will always love you."