A Letter About Something You're Afraid To Admit
Dear John, Kavya, Lydia (lydsplaygames )
This is for all of you in the sense that there is something that I'm afraid to admit about all of you or rather to all of you. So how about I start chronologically? From the order given above. Don't hate me after you find a little bit of truth about me.
John- Oh boy! Where do I even start with you? I think I should've made a completely separate letter for you. Shouldn't I have? But this is all you get. I'm afraid to admit a lot of things to you, sweetheart but the main thing is that I'm afraid to admit that you were right about me. I am, just as you always used to say, too damn scared to let my wall down. I did though, you know? Twice and it fell apart. So I know not to do it again. I'm not going to let anyone else in ever again and that's how I think you might've been right. You were also right about the fact that Tarun is in love with Sara and you were also right about the fact that you'd be the first one of us to die. You were right that I'd meet someone who would tear me apart and that I'll miss you when I hear my heart break. You were right about the fact that the world will not end in 2012. You were right about how much I love you. You were right about how much we need you. You were right about everything. And that's what I'm afraid to admit to you. When times get tough and friends just can't be found like a bridge over troubled water I will lay it out.
Kavya- I miss you so much, love. You're the most amazing friend I've ever had and you know what I'm afraid to admit? I'm afraid to admit that I shouldn't have just stood there and let you be pushed around by others. I'm so sorry about being the biggest bitch in the world to you. I was, wasn't I? A bitch of monumental proportions. Sorry. I'm so sorry that all I can say is sorry rather than doing anything about it. Let me tell you something that wouldn't make much of a difference now but I think it's my duty to tell you. John and I were never in love with each other. We were just two amazing friends who began liking each other like crazy. It shouldn't mean anything but it does. I want you to know that that's all it ever was. The first person I ever fell in love with was Lydia and it was never John. If I'd have known how you felt about him, I'd have backed off. I'm sorry for being a bitch and being blind. For being a blind bitch. I need you by my side because together we can be amazing. You're like my little sister and I want us to be better to each other than we were before. Here's to us, here's to love. All the times that we fucked up. Here's to you. Fill the glass, 'cause the last few nights have kicked my ass. So let's give 'em hell, wish everybody well. Here's to us.
Lydia- I regret ever dating you. I'm sorry but it's true. I really, absolutely, totally, completely regret it. Us dating, ruined any chance of a good friendship we could've had. We are friends now, good friends but I don't know why my heart clenches when you talk about someone new or whenever I listen to Payphone or Rather Be. I don't know and that's what I'm afraid to admit. I was so madly and deeply in love with you that it's actually crazy to think that it was just a stupid teenage thing. This is what I was afraid to admit, you know? I was afraid to admit to you that I regret ever falling in love with you. I was afraid of telling you how much I hate you for letting me fall in love with you and then breaking my heart because I do hate you. I hate you for letting me fall for you even when you never loved me. I'm sorry. I hope me finally spilling my feelings out doesn't strain our newfound friendship. I love you and I always will.
Love
Navi
