charcoal and scars

chapter 14

I can't hear anything but the pounding of blood in my ears, and barely register when Karkat's cat jumps up on the armrest of the couch.

I'm a little scared to look to my right, but my eyes can't help it when they glance at Karkat, taking in a face I would have never thought could get any cuter.

I've only known this kid for, what, three days? I've known him less than a week, and I realize I love him more than I loved someone I had spent my whole life with.

The freakish purple cat is swatting playfully at something stuck on the arm that's tucked under Karkat. It looks like a piece of white tape, so I try to tug it loose.

Instead of it unsticking itself from his skin like I had expected, the tape pulls a thick strip of gauze from the inside of Karkat's sleeve. Curious, I pull the cloth back.

With the gauze removed, its revealed the entire top of his forearm is raw, and there's a deep gash cutting almost all the way up to his elbow. What must be thirty stitches hold the wound together, but I can tell its still fresh.

I've never been queasy around blood or stitches, but this makes me sick. How the hell had this happened?

I slowly replace the gauze, then realize the tape strapped around it before has disappeared. I'm frantically searching for it when I see the cat is sitting on top of the TV, the tape clamped in his teeth. His tail is flicking back and forth across the screen, his lips curling into a real smile.

Perturbed, I gently raise myself from the couch and onto the floor, careful not to wake Karkat. He just mumbles something incoherent and curls up tighter. I keep my eyes fixed on the cat, and don't notice the hand latching onto the front of my shirt until I try to stand, when a murmured protest halts my movements in surprise. I look back at Karkat to find the fabric of my black shirt is clamped between his fingers unconsciously, and he's nuzzled his nose into the nape of my neck.

A thousand thoughts bombard my already confused mind, the ones re-occurring the most include "Is he awake?", "What do I do?", and "Why the hell did he just say my name?"

It came out in a slurred mumble, but it certainly sounded like "Sollux."

"Fuck..." I turn back forward, leaning against the couch and letting my arms fall to my sides. I look at the cat, a furious blush across my face. He just stares at me triumphantly. "You win, fuckath."

The cat hops off the TV, trotting over to where I'm held captive and drops the tape at my feet. He looks up at me and meows, if you can even call it that.

It's more like the croak of a dying frog mixed with a stoner muttering "miracles" under his breath.

I laugh, and reach out timidly to pet him. He sniffs my fingers before butting his head into them. My cat has a funny meow too, but his is stuttering and nervous.

I scratch the cat's chin, and try to ignore Karkat's breathing down my back, but that's near impossible considering its all I can think about.

I swear, cocking my head to look at Karkat again. Any thought I had of him being awake vanish to be replaced by that now-familiar fluttering in my chest.

"How come it'th tho eathy for you to thcrew with my head?" I sigh and, because I can't help it, I turn enough to press our foreheads together, and relish in the warm touch of Karkat's skin. He smells amazing, as creepy as that sounds. Kind of like cherries and rain? Whatever it is, I've never smelled anything better.

The cat interrupts me by jumping onto my shoulder like some monkey. I look at him incredulously, then spy the purple tag hanging from his equally purple collar.

"G... Gamthee?" I read it to be acknowledged with Gamzee's immediate purring. "Geethe, what kind of name ith that?" He just butts his head into my ear, his pur vibrating my whole body. "Jethuth, how can KK live with you?" I push the clown-cat off my shoulder. He just cocks his head at me, then flicks his tail and trots off, leaving the room silent save for Karkat's easy breathing.

I sigh combing my bangs with my fingers whilst turning to look at Karkat again. There's a slight smile on lips I can't stop thinking look extremely kissable. Fuck. What the hell, Sollux?

He looks so innocent, so vulnerable; it's hard to believe he has a past worse than mine. What happened to me... I can hardly be blamed for that, but there are so many ways to pin everything on Karkat, isn't there?

Karkat mumbles again, breath leaving his lungs in a sigh. His grip on my shirt loosens and he pulls back his hand a bit, so it's now resting on the the side of my neck.

I groan defeatedly, slumping further down the couch until just my head rests on the cushions. How the fuck is he so cute? Fef was never this cute... And there I go, quoting practically every romcom I've watched today.

I open my phone to check the time, and wince when I see it. Ten ten. Uncle's going to love this.

One last look at Karkat, and I stand, stretching a kink out of my back; despite Karkat's couch being comfortable as fuck, it's perchance a bit too comfy.

I search for my coat for a second, before realizing I had come over in nothing but my dark gray sweatshirt with a Gemini symbol on it, something I had not taken off before joining Karkat on the couch.

I check my pockets to make sure I have everything: keys, phone, wallet. Satisfied I haven't left anything, I yank a blanket off one of the kitchen chairs and throw it over Karkat, making sure his toes are covered.

Then as an insane afterthought, I bend over and let my lips brush his forehead. Yes, I feel like a fucking creeper, but he's not going to remember it, right?

I shake that thought from my mind and quietly exit Karkat's home. On the doorstep, I almost trip over a small package sitting there. Cursing a bit, I pick it up and inspect the label.

"Kanaya Maryam? Karkat knowth the weirdetht people." I put the package just inside the door, then secure it behind me.

Apparently after our little shouting bout earlier, my uncle wants nothing to do with me, because my only greeter when I arrive home is Cindy. She doesn't say anything as she removes my damp sweatshirt and takes it, along with my sodden shoes, to be dried in the washroom downstairs; there's still a good two inches of snow on the ground, making walking through it whilst staying dry impossible.

Before Cindy leaves the room, I catch her arm.

"Hey, Thindy, do you know where my uncle ith?"

"He's in his study, Mr. Captor."

"Thankth." She bows slightly before walking away. God, no matter how long I live here, I will never get used to all the formalities.

I shake my head and plod wearily up the marble steps, at a much gentler gait than previously that day. At the top, I turn right and knock on the second door down the hallway. A muffled

"Enter," grants my admittance. I take a deep breath before opening the door.

My uncle looks up from whatever he was doing to take in my presence with surprise. "S-Sollux, um... Shouldn't you be in bed?" Is he just playing along, or does he actually not realize I've been gone the past seven hours?

"Yeah, well, um..." God, everything sounds so stupid in my head; its going to come out even stupider when I say it, isn't it? "Um, I jutht want to apologithe for earlier. I didn't mean to yell..." He shuffles his papers uncomfortably.

"And I understand I stepped on a touchy subject." I'm not going to lie; we've never been good at talking to each other.

"H-Hey, uncle... Thith might thound a little weird, but, um, what exactly did I thay?" I find it really hard to look in his eyes, and when I do, they're laced with confusion. "I-I don't really remember?"

"Well, Sollux-" He's interrupted by the black phone on his desk, and the god awful ringing that sounds like a siren. He picks it up and answers with a simple "Hello?" I just awkwardly stand there until he smiles one of his few genuine smiles and waves me over. "Yes, Aradia, he's right here."