Chapter Eighteen

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Heartbreak is not poetry, and it is not staying up until 2am crying and listening to sad music.

It's not glorifying the hurt and pain.

Stop romanticizing heartbreak.

It's seeing his face in every person you pass. It's feeling numb inside and breaking down on the sidewalk.

It's everything you left behind cutting into my tongue and finding myself screaming and sobbing into my pillow and choking on your name even though it's been 5 months since we last spoke.

It's you clouding my thoughts and being stuck in my head and your voice seeping into my skin.

It's crying over the ghost of your lips on my neck and craving your touch.

It's waking up sweaty and heart racing and crying because you dreamt of the love of your life leaving, and then it hits you harder than ever.

It's when your throat tightens when you think of him and when you bite your lip and look to the ceiling so you don't cry. But you can't help it.

You just can't.

God, Benjamin. When I called you the day after I wrote the letter, you didn't pick up.

I left a voicemail but my instincts knew something happened.

Something bad.

I felt my whole world start falling apart.

Why didn't you pick up, Benjamin?

Oh my God, you promised me forever, Benjamin.

I want my forever with you.

Why did you leave?


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