Tears Of A Priority

Chapter 27

" Yes , he's worried about you too . He says that if helping him out is taking this much of a toll on you that you shouldn't do it . He wants you to be okay , he hates that it's because of him that you are stressing out like this ". Tyra said rubbing Mercedes hand .

Mercedes couldn't help but think , if only they knew . Yes , worrying about Jazir had her stressed out ... But she had way more things clouding her thoughts .

" No , I'm fine . I just haven't been getting enough sleep . I'm gonna go home , okay ? I don't feel to good ". Mercedes announced .

" we don't want you driving like this . Why don't you just go lay down in Ja's old room . Maybe that'll help you sleep better "? Paul asked .

Mercedes nodded and made her way to his bedroom . Closing the door behind her softy , Mercedes dropped to her knees & cried into her hands . She couldn't believe that she was pregnant a second time . She didn't know how Ja would react about it , she didn't want to tell her parents and the secret was just eating her up alive . Plus the constant stress of worrying if Ja was controlling himself in the jail & not getting into any extra trouble , waiting for his phone calls that sometimes didn't come for days at a time or because she missed them . It wasn't like she could call him and talk to him for hours on the phone , talk time was limited and everything was just weighing heavy on Mercedes .

After finding out she was a few months pregnant , she wondered if she should or could tell Ja .

Abortion kept running through her mind because she just couldn't go through with having the baby . She would just keep it a secret like she had been doing and get an abortion on her own time .

She was going to talk to Ja about it & let him know the situation , hopefully he would respect and agree with her decision. The timing for the baby to come into this world was all messed up & Mercedes refused to bring her baby up without its father .

                                •••

Ja sat listening as the phone rung and he waited anxiously for Mercedes to pick up the phone . He hadn't spoke to her in a few days and he wanted to see what had her so unlike herself .

" Hello "? She answered softly .

" Yeah , wassup with you "? Ja asked . " I miss you ".

" Nothing is up , I'm fine . I miss you too ". She replied .

" So what's this I been hearing about you losing weight , not eating , and not taking care of yourself ? That's not the Mercedes I know ". Ja told her .

Ja listened as she bust into a river of tears . He could hear something in her cries , it was a different cry . Like a " I'm hiding something , & I kinda wanna take it with me to my gave " cry .

" Mercedes ? Ma what's up ? You gotta let a nigga know something ? It's tearing me up while im in here ... That you out there on the other side of them gates crying like that & I don't know the reason . Tell me ". He encouraged softly .

" Ja , I'm pregnant ". He heard her cry out .

Pregnant ? When ? How ? Ja thought , the timing was all wrong . He already knew why he was reacting the way she was .

" Ma , I already know what you thinking . Imma be fucked up about it for a while but If having an abortion is what you want to do ... Do it . I know this ain't the best situation to bring a baby into and I can see that it's taking a toll on you . Just wait it out for a week . If by the end of the week you still want to do it , do it . Don't tell nobody , it only has to be between me and you iight "? Ja asked .