Sanity // s.m. [IN EDITING]

[18]

Elliot

***

I have never had a week where I didn't feel worse.

I'll admit, the week when I first moved to New York was horrendous. All the guilt, stress, sadness, longing, and the expense of it all— I thought it was going to eat me alive. If it weren't for all of my favorite novels and art canvases being the first decorative items in the place, it probably would have.

But it was a close call between that week and this one. I was waiting for Shawn to call me and give me an explanation on the fucking pregnancy, but at the same time I knew that he wouldn't call-- I wasn't even a part in his life anymore, and that was okay.

And on top of it all, after the first few days of moping around my loft in my Pickering t-shirt and adidas shorts that used to belong to Corey, I got sick. Like, really sick. Like not-even-wanting-to-get-out-of-bed sick.

It was the flu. I was throwing up every two hours, my body temperature couldn't make up its mind, and my stomach was killing me every second of every day. That's what I hated most about living alone-- there was no one here to take care of me. I had to take care of myself, which I couldn't do.

And that Carter guy that I met last week literally picked the worst time to finally call. I had just woken up and I think I had strep throat, because my voice sounded like a man's, and my tongue and throat both were dry and tight.

My nose was full of snot-shit and my eyes were barely open when I hung up the moment I realized it was him.

I texted him: Hey, sorry, can't talk. Sick af. Also means I can't hang out this week. I'm sorry :(

He responded a few minutes later after I had fallen back asleep, so I didn't see it until at least an hour later when I woke up again. I sat up on my full-size bed, stretched, yawned, coughed, winced at the pain in my throat from the coughing, and then read his reply.

Don't apologize, it's totally fine! My sister is sick too. My other sisters and I are taking care of her tho.

Then there was another text underneath it.

God, I hate flu season. are u ok?

I threw my head back down on the pillow and coughed again. It hurt like hell to cough and I kept doing it.

I respond, absofuckinglutely not.

I wish I was in the mood to appreciate this more. Even though I hardly knew anything about this guy, it was nice to have someone to actually talk to. But it felt like a sin to even think the word "nice" while I felt like total shit.

My phone buzzes on my lap and I pick it up, reading his reply quickly.

What's ur address? I'll come over and bring you some soup that one of my sisters made for the one who's sick.

I freak out and type quickly, no! not while i look like something that came out of a horse's ass!!

He took a minute to respond.

I actually just burst out laughing wtf

Then another text read:

I'll drop it at the door then.

So I agreed. For the past week all I have been eating is takeout food, which let me just say took a lot of motivation to actually get myself in the car and drive to the Chinese Palace down the street. So some real homemade food would actually be really nice.

Even though it was from a random stranger, I liked the comfort he was providing. He was friendly, without flirting-- but then again, I wouldn't know, since I've only ever been flirted with by one guy anyway.

I wasn't much of a cook. I could make about three dishes; Mac N Cheese, cereal, and ramen noodles. I could also make a salad, but I was too lazy to go out and buy stuff to make a salad, so I usually just eat takeout every night and then go to the gym to burn off the calories.

When I was with Shawn, he used to cook for me sometimes. Only when I was starving and broke, or sick. He was a hell of a lot better cook than I was. He could actually make stuff. He would find stuff in my mom's pantry and google stuff he could make with it.

I don't think cooking is like a passion of his either way, and it's not like he's an amazing cook or anything, it's just that I'm to the point where I'm so terrible that anyone who can make something from scratch without reading instructions from the back of the box has been sent from heaven.

I didn't bother fixing myself up, since I knew that Carter had promised not to come in. I just pulled my dark greasy hair back into a ponytail so it was out of my face, and put some pants on, just in case.

Then I vomited again.

It was gross. It hurt my throat. It burned worse than it had this entire week, and I was about ready to kill my myself from the smell while cleaning it up, when the doorbell rang.

I cough, slap myself in the face for coughing, and drag my feet slowly across the floor from the bathroom to the front door with tears brimming in my eyes.

I look through the peephole. Just like he'd promised, he wasn't there. Just a dark red crockpot with a foggy cover and a little note scribbled onto a piece of torn notebook paper.

I open the door with a little smile on my face and pick up the crockpot, careful not to drop it as I close the door behind me with my butt.

I carry it over to the kitchen counter, setting it down easy and lifting the lid. It smelled amazing. There were all kinds of vegetables and beef chopped up in there, and it was all seasoned and shit, and obviously at a high temperature since the steam drifted off through the apartment and evaporated slowly.

I grab the note, reading in neat printed handwriting,

I hope you feel better soon. If you ever need me for anything else I'm just a call away! Let me know when you finish that sequel, by the way, since I'm dying to know what happens to Laur at the end of the book.

Love, your new dear irish friend Carter.

I laugh, setting the note down on the table and fixing myself a bowl of soup.

Awkwardness and all meaningful future between us aside, it was nice to have a friend.

***

THIS WAS BORING IM SORRY AND IT MIGHT SEEM LIKE THIS STORY IS GOING NOWHERE BUT

I HAVE SO MUCH PLANNED FOR THIS AND I ALREADY KNOW HOW ITS GOING TO END

CARTER.
WILL.
BE.
IMPORTANT.

let's just say he acts as Elle's... um... getaway driver? *wink wink*

anyways please don't stop reading there is a huGE ENDING AND I WANT YOU TO STICK AROUND

I'm sad that this story is almost over... :( there's only 25 or 26 chapters.

anyways, leave your thoughts below and don't forget to vote!

-avey