*His Lucky Charm - RaVin_P95

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His Lucky Charm - "Why can't you let me go?"

   "I like to keep what is mine as mine." He took a step closer to her successfully trapping her between him and the wall. "You became one of my rituals when you kissed me Anna."

   "You are my lucky charm." His whispered. "Mine."

   Aiden Dalton has a set of rituals he has to follow before a game and Annabelle Thompson found herself as one of them.She was his lucky charm and he only needed her to win the trophies,it's as simple as that. But sometimes, something as simple as that can change.The questions is for better or worse?

My Review - Summary is good. I quite like it. Very original so points for that.

     You need to work on your paragraphs. Don't keep them so long. But I really like how you have started the whole thing about Aiden's life. You have described him well. So your chapter one is overall good. And for your first time writing, you are really good.

    I do hope you get more reads,votes and comments. Good luck!

My Score- 7/10.

Note - For writing for the first time, this girl is good. Give this story a read for it's originality.

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