Y/N POV:
Giving confession in the back of a taxi cab, sins in a paper bag.
"So she left you for some random guy?" My cab driver, whose name I learned to be Mark asked.
"Yup, said she couldn't handle me anymore." I slurred. The alcohol in my system doing what it does best.
"What did you do?"
"Nothing, honestly. I guess she just got tired of me." I replied, taking another swig of my whiskey.
"That sucks man. Love sucks." He says.
"You can say that again." I agree.
Love sucks honestly. What even is love? To me, love can be beautiful, but it can also be horrible, and painful. It's something that will eventually crush us all, but yet, we still search and fight for it...
"But you know what they say, if you love something; set to it free." He says and I roll my eyes. That's utter bullshit... Right?
Swear I'd be a believer if you just came back.
"We're here, that'll be ten dollars." He says, I look at the meter and read $40
"It says forty."
"And I'm just charging you ten, you seem like you've had a rough couple of days, I want you to save those thirty dollars and drink until you forget about her, and call me when you're ready to go." He says handing me his card with his number on it.
"Are you sure man?"
"Positive. Go, have fun." He tells me, sending me a warm smile which I return. I hand him a ten dollar bill and thank him, promising to call when I'm ready to go home and head into the bar.
Between bar lights, and battle scars everything fell apart, how'd we get so bad?
Honestly, how did we fall apart? Everything was going so well, we were so in love with each other. We were the power couple, the couple everyone adored... But then one day she just came home and said she met someone else, someone who pays attention to her and treats her right... I guess her saying that hurt the most. I treated her like a fucking queen, I put her before everyone and everything else, but I guess that wasn't enough.
Now I'm burning up, breaking down, throwing out all I had.
I got fired from my job... My dream job. I worked as a live music photographer on tour for many bands, but the company I worked for fired me because some of the bands complained about me getting too emotional, and getting pissed drunk... Fuck them. I can find another job... But I can never find another her.
I'd give away all my money for you, give up my watch and my car keys too.
I'd give up everything I have if she just came back. None of that matters to me as long as I have her, as long as it means I can once again hold her in my arms.
*
I walked into the bar and sat on one of the stools, ordering another whiskey. I thanked the bar tender and downed it in two gulps, straight away asking for another.
I turned around in my seat and my heart sunk to my stomach.
Fucking great, just what I needed! The love of my life, on the dance floor, dancing with her new boyfriend.
I told the bartender to leave the bottle of Jack with me. Drinking it straight from the bottle. I can't deal with this shit if I'm not completely wasted.
Here at the bottom of the bottle, I got nothing left to lose.
I've already lost everything. I lost the love of my life, my job, my friends, even some of my family that got tired of me as well. I guess everything I've tried to give to people just wasn't enough. That sucks so much honestly. I try my hardest to provide and make the people I love and care for happy, I do everything for them yet it isn't enough. Nothing I do will ever be enough for everyone.
Woke up next to a girl that I've never met, kick drum beat in my head. She took off like a drag from a cigarette.
Every night, I go out to a club, or bar and go home with some random girl that's willing to sleep with me. Then the next morning, wake up, and barely remember what happened or how I go home. My head pounding from my terrible hangover and the girl just gets up, gets dressed and leaves.
But tonight, tonight I don't want to do that. Tonight I want all of this to end. I want this to be the last time I go out and drink my ass off. This needs to stop, its been a year since she left me. I have to move on.
When he walks you home he better damn know, you deserve everything, maybe he's a better me. Hope you know just how amazing you are.
Maybe she really wasn't happy with me. Maybe she needed him more than she ever needed me. I just hope that he treats her right, and treats her well.
I swear if you ever came back I could get out of bed and get my shit together. But I guess I'll go back to sleep instead.
If she ever came back, I wouldn't be like this at all. When she left me alcohol and sleeping around with random girls were the only things that kept me slightly same. I didn't know what else to do, no one was there for me when she left me. When she left, basically so did everyone else.
I'm watching him while he's touching you, and there's nothing I can do.
I turned back around in my seat and just starred at them. I know it's creepy but I can't help it. He has his hands all over her and she's enjoying it, she's smiling widely and she looks happy. Happier than she ever was with me. There's nothing I can do about this, there's nothing I can do for her to take or want me back.
I felt my eyes starting to well up with tears, I quickly wiped them away, paid my tab and called Mark up. I can't be here anymore, I can't witness that anymore.
Twenty minutes later Mark pulled up and asked why I called so early, I told him everything and he tried everything he could to cheer me up but he couldn't. He took me home and I just laid in my bed all night, thinking about her.
Lauren doesn't love me anymore, did she ever? I love her with everything I have but that doesn't matter.
If I'm being honest, her happiness is all that matters to me. And she seems really happy without me. It took me a year, and to see her with him to finally realize that.
Guess I'm happy for you.
~~~~~~~
This sucked...
