Based off of "Cherry" by Moose Blood.
I know this doesn't add up to what the song is about, and it's very different but eh...
G!P you, but no smut.
Y/N POV:
I sighed, and wiped away my tears as I looked at pictures of my daughter Kaelyn, and my ex-girlfriend Lauren.
There's only one place that I want to be, it's home with you, girl, so I can hear you breathe.
She left me about a year and ago and moved all the way to California, thousands of miles away from Miami.
With your hair up like you do, and that face that you give me when you've missed me.
I'll never forget that adorable look on her face when I used to come back home from months of touring.
And I've missed our girl so God damn much.
I haven't seen Kaelyn since then. She hates me, they both do and it breaks my heart every single time I think about them. But Lauren still keeps me updated on her, she just turned four and started pre-school.
I've smoked a lot and I feel so rough. Guess this is just what I want to do, keeping half smoked smokes and sing to half filled rooms.
After she left me, I became a total wreck. I started drinking, and smoking more than I already did, and focused more on my career than I did with anything else, to keep my mind off the pain.
I was young and irresponsible, about a year ago.
I got drunk one night, like extremely drunk and hurt her. I slept with another girl and I got her pregnant, and she gave birth to my second daughter, Kassidy. Whom of course I love dearly, and stopped all of my old habits for, but the fact that my first born, my baby girl hates me isn't a good feeling.
And it's impossible to tell if my hands will ever warm up. I don't believe in growing up.
Growing up sucks, and I don't want to grow up but I have to.
But look at me now, I'm engaged to be married.
I didn't want Kassidy growing up with parents that weren't married. I didn't want to make the same mistake with Kaelyn. I was going to ask Lauren to marry me but I fucked everything up. Camila and I, the girl I slept with, got to know each other after she found out she was pregnant. We both agreed to be together for the sake of Kassy, we do love each other but I don't think I'll ever love her as much as I love/loved Lauren.
I'm only 23 and I got myself a family. She's not mine, and she never will be. I'm reminded everyday. She's not mine and it fucking kills me. She won't look at me that way.
Whenever I wake up to big brown eyes, instead of green my heart breaks little by little every time. It kills me knowing I'll never have Lauren back. It pains me that she doesn't look at me the same way she used to. If I could go back in time and not go to that party I would. But that means losing Kassidy and I don't want that.
"You miss her don't you?" My fiancé asked coming up behind me as she saw me looking at a picture Kaelyn when she was a baby, tears streaming down my face rapidly.
"So much." I said tracing my finger over the picture.
"Have you talked to Lauren lately?" She asked hugging me from behind.
