Untitled #10

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Fat.

I hate that word.

It's so misused and exaggerated that its meaning and purpose has almost become obsolete - except for one thing.

It's an ugly word. A derogatory word. A word considered an insult. A word considered a swear.

People only think of one thing when they hear it - pity.

Pity, or remorse, or regrets. Nasty, negative things.

Fat. 

You only think of someone morbidly obese, someone who can't stand, someone who can't see their toes. You only think of one person, too.

You might even think of yourself.

It's a shameful word. It's a painful word. It's a frustrated word.

It'll flit across your mind and fill it with guilt.

It'll flit across your mind and fill you with unsurpassed amounts of utter guilt.

Fat.

It's a word often replace by 'chubby', or 'heavy', or 'chunky', even 'curvy'.

But it feels disgusting nonetheless.

It feels the worst when you can no longer fit in your favorite jeans.

It feels awful when you come home and feel relieved to have taken your clothes off.

When it's tight, when it's awkward, when it's a constant hassle, you think of it too.

You think of 'fat'.

And that's not okay.

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