Abusive Love

Chapter 4 - Do I even love Him ?

Finally, it was weekends. I sigh with relieve as in the sigh was washing away all the stressed strapped up in my body.

I was fully sitting up on our king size bed. I looked over to Chris man the man looks so sweet so innocent when he is sleeping but, truly he is a evil man.

I swing my legs out of bed not planning to wake up Chris. Walking out the room towards the kitchen I open the fridge my stomach rumbling man I was so hungry. I began to search my fridge.

"Want to go out and eat?" A deep husky voice said. I startled for a minute and looked behind me to see a tall light skin beautiful chiseled body with a six pack shinning bright he's nibble standing straight up.

"Morning Chris. Yeah let's go out." My eyes still trailing down his body till I reach his-

"Jordan my eyes up here." He chuckles.

"Oh my God shut up." I say hiding my face in the fridge.

Suddenly I feel a grip pull me back turning my around. I'm now facing Chris, our heartbeats as one and our breathing follows. My breast pressed down unto him.

"Your beautiful." He says kissing my before between and after each word.

"Thank you but before this goes any further I need food." I say pushing my lips to his and rubbing my hands against his check leaving my thumb to fall off him bottom lip.

"Okay, let's get your fat ass to food." Sweeping my legs off the floor and away towards our room.

~

"Hi, my name is Alyssa. I'll be your waitress for today. What will be your order?" Smiling so hard. Damn this girl fake.

"I'll take scrambled eggs , ten strips of bacon , coffee please cream it , waffles Belgium , and hash browns. " smiling.

Both Chris and Alyssa gapping at me with emotionless face. I giggled "Thank you."

"Okay and you sir ?" Smiling harder then ever moving her attention to Chris.

Clearing his throat "Black coffee , pancakes, and bacon five strips will be enough. Thank you." He says removing his eyes off the waitress.

"Okay, it'll be ready in ten minutes." Then she paces away.

"So how is work?" I asked Chris to start a conversation off.

"We made a new deal with a company in Asia. We will manage their money and products its worth 8.5 million."

"That's amazing!" I say as I watch them place my food down.

"What about you?"

"Its okay Damar and I are now partners."

"Damar?"

"Yes. Damar you know high school friend."

"I know" I felt the tension in his body rise as he grips his fork.

"Why are you tense?"

"I don't like the idea of you working with Damar."

"Why?"

"Why" saying sarcastically as if I was dumb and didn't understand why. "Because I know Damar likes you!"

I broke into a laugh that quickly shut up because Chris eyes began to darken.

"No he doesn't." I say flatly.

"Oh please you know its true. You know you two had a thing before!" He spits through his teeth.

"No your wrong." I lied we did and to be honest I miss being in his arms. And if he does like me I'll be with him instead.

"Aha, whatever." He gets up leaving his plate unfinished.

I stare at him with disbelief can he really just leave me. Then I moved to the end of the booth towards the window then I see Chris open the car door start it and drove off. I'm still staring at the window waiting for him to come back I soon notice he doesn't.

I look at my food I have lost my appetite. I reached into my purse and called the only person who always has been there for me no matter what.

~

I waited outside for a while and soon I began to day dream snapping back and out of it. I been day dreaming constantly about Damar for a while. Which I didn't mind it seemed to take away the pain and unhappiness every time I think about it I fell more special. Just as I'm about to go into another day dream Damar pulls up.

"Good morning beautiful." He says as I opened the door.

I smile. A real smile.

"So the douche left you here?" he says heading down the street.

I looked away unable to answer the question.

"Why do you continue to date a guy who is confused and mentally unstable?" he questioned gripping the steering wheel.

I can see the anger in his face.

"Well, I love him. I believe we can get through this." I say softly.

"You love him. See I don't understand the kind of love you have for him. He constantly raises his hands on you slaps you hits you abuses you when he gets the slightest annoyed. Then after hurting you he comes back to tell you that he is sorry and that he loves you! Bullshit!" Smacking his hands on the center of the wheel.

I jumped up because he sound off the horn.

"Look, I don't know okay I'm confused." I confess my eyes overflowing with tears I begin to cry.

I can sense Damar eyes on me then back unto the road as we pull up in his driveway. I'm still crying.

"Jordan." he says.

I don't look over towards him.

"Jordan look at me goddamnit!"

I moved my head facing him my eyes bloodshot tears still coming out.

"Look, I'm sorry. Even though I don't know what I'm sorry for." his hands trail my cheeks then I feel a spark. I break into a weary smile. "I know your heart doesn't belong with anyone but Chris but I need to tell you something." he breaths in my heart racing i'm confused and don't know whats happening."Jordan I love you." following with the words he crashes his lips into mine and his hands trail my cheeks down towards my neck.

It felt perfect. He deepens the kiss I allowed him because I want him. His lips go from my lips towards my neck sucking on my skin. I moan throwing my head back in pleasure damn. Why was I being so blind this is who I wanted.

As our hands are looking for a new place to rest. Our lips desiring for more we pressed harder against each other.

I want him.

He smiles through the kiss and slides his hands slowly under my shirt he grips my skin.

I heard a knock at the door I release myself from Damar.

Shit Chris.
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Author Note ~

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