Under A Paper Moon ~ Jalex

Chapter 20 - Me Without You (All I've Never Wanted)

*waaaa* *waaaa*

I open my eyes slowly, they feel dry and my ear feels heavy when I go to get up. I turn to see Jack is still fast asleep. I get up and drag myself slowly to the other end of the room and reach into Chelsea's crib. I pick her up and put her on the changing table and give her a fresh diaper before cradling her in my arms and quietly singing a lullaby to get her to go to sleep. She stares up at me with her beautiful brown eyes that look like Jack's and her rosy cheeks. Her eyelids start to drop but she keeps opening them refusing sleep, I keep rocking her and eventually she falls back to sleep. I lay her back in her crib and return to bed.

I lay my head on the pillow and stare up at the ceiling listening to Jack and Chelsea breathing. Jack is such a deep sleeper which makes this hard because it's always me waking up to the crying. I haven't had a good night's sleep in a few weeks. Waking up at 3am, 4am or 5am to change her diaper or feed her or just cuddle with her. I find it hard to fall asleep once I've woken up. Jack hasn't heard anything from Jessica ever since we brought Chelsea home, ah well it's her loss.

I slowly close my eyes and let my tiredness take control as I drift into slumber.

When I awake I find myself alone in bed and Chelsea nowhere to be seen. I put my phone on and check the time. 10.42 I thought it would be later to be honest. I get up and put on my blue slipper then head downstairs. I am just about to walk into the living room when I hear Jack talking so I stand outside and listen. "You're beautiful, I never thought I'd have a baby but look at me now. You haven't been here long but I love you." He's so cute. I walk into the room and Jack looks up at me from the sofa and smiles. "Morning handsome." He greets. I go and sit next to him. Chelsea is laying quietly in his arms while he feeds her a bottle.

We sit in silence watching the television. Well I'm not really watching it, more like staring at the screen while thinking to myself. Out band is taking a hiatus for a while until me and Jack get some free time. Well until Chelsea is old enough to come with us on tour and places. We plan to still get together and write music so we have stuff to bring out. "Alex?" Jack whispers, I turn around and look at him. "What's up babe?" I ask him, confused. "I'm daddy, you're just dad." I laugh at him, our argument on whether who is 'daddy' has been going on for years now.

I look at Jack holding Chels, they look so perfect. This is where I belong, where I always have belonged.