Undisclosed Desires

Chapter 13

Nate started laughing as I immediately launched into a massive coughing fit. Great. Very smooth, Ashford. Good job. 

Nate clapped me gently on the back, while I kept coughing my lungs out. “I knew you’d never smoked before. I knew it.”

“Great job, Sherlock,” I said while I grabbed a bottle of water that stood on my nightstand and drunk greedily from it.

“Leave your lips parted a bit when you inhale,” he said, still snickering. “That way you’ll take in some air with the smoke and it’ll burn less.”

“You couldn’t have told me that before I did it?” I asked accusingly.

He shrugged. “I could have, but where’s the fun in that?”

I slapped his arm and put down the bottle of water. I was determined to try it again. Some stupid part of me wanted to succeed in everything I did, including using drugs. Like, I said stupid.

“Try it again,” Nate said, voicing my thoughts. “Do as I say and take in more air. Hold it inside your lungs for as long as possible.”

I tried and did what he said. This time I was more successful, I was able to hold the smoke in for a good fifteen seconds before exhaling. The smoke still burned, but I didn’t erupt in a huge coughing fit anymore.

“Nice,” Nate said as he clapped his hands together lightly. I couldn’t decide whether he was really proud of me or mocking. 

I found that I didn’t really care anymore. I wasn’t angry with him. Everyone said stupid things once in a while. I knew my forgiving state didn’t come from the alcohol or weed. It was too early for that, I wasn’t drunk or high yet.    

I took another hit and then passed the joint over to Nate. He took it from me and squinted as he inhaled, his long fingers splaying as he sucked with pursed lips. I couldn’t help but moan as he held the smoke in for a long time. I watched him amazed. This was more impressive than my fifteen seconds. 

He never took his eyes of mine as he laid the joint next to him and gave me a closed-mouth smiled. 

Slowly, he leaned in, grabbed my head and pulled me towards him. At first, I was shocked because I thought he was going to kiss me, which I hadn’t expected at all since he still thought I was angry with him. But just as I wanted to close my eyes, he hovered his mouth over mind and exhaled, slowly breathing the smoke in my already open mouth.

I realised I was supposed to inhale his smoke and did this. My whole body tingled as Nate watched me and smiled, grazing his thumb super slowly across my cheek.

All I could see at that moment was Nate. His face, that was still hovering close to mine, his mouth soft and open, his eyes heavy and dark, watching me like I was the most fascinating girl he had ever seen.

He blinked slowly and then licked his lips, all slow-motion and pink-tongue and I swore he did it on purpose. I could only swallow and look at him with wide eyes. 

I seriously wanted to lean forward and kiss him, but I didn’t have the courage to do it. After the longest ten seconds of my life, Nate’s eyes shifted to my mouth before they went up to my eyes again. I could see him silently asking permission with his eyes and I couldn’t help but nod. 

He leaned in further so that his lips brushed mine for a moment, it cause my whole body to tingle I wanted to press my lips fully to his, but he had already pulled back, looking at me with a shocked expression. It almost was as if he couldn’t believe what he had just done. 

At that moment all my frustrations came out of me. I was so close to getting what I wanted and then he had to pull away. Something broke inside of me before I growled. “Just fucking kiss me already.”

I grabbed the back of his head and held my face a couple of inches away from him. 

“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” Nate told me in a pained voice. “Believe me I want to kiss you, but once you know everything about me I’m sure you would regret it. And I don’t want you to regret anything you do with me.”

“I know what I’m asking,” I said confidently. I put my hands on his chest and felt how fast his heart was pounding.

“Don’t you see how fucked up this is? How screwed up the two of us are?” He swallowed and his jaw clenched. I could see he was fighting his desire to kiss me. He just needed a little push. 

“I don’t care. Do you want me?” I asked, unable to keep my eyes away from his mouth.

Say yes. Please yes. Just say it.

He swallowed again thickly and whispered. “Fuck, yes.”

And then he fully pressed his lips against mine. We both inhaled loudly as something powerful and thrilling passed through us, filling the space between our bodies with a sharp current. My inside coiled themselves in knots and he made a grunting sound that again confirmed how badly he wanted to kiss me. 

He released my lips and pulled back slightly. His eyes drifted open and they were nearly black. His mouth was open and soft and he kissed me again, a little harder. I felt him exhale against my skin. He gently sucked on my lips, which made me whimper. I had no idea why I hadn’t been kissing Nate the moment I met him, because what he was doing to me was beyond incredible. 

He slowly deepened our kiss, pushing his tongue gently in my mouth and at that moment all hell broke lose. I desperately grabbed his soft, messy hair and tugged on it slightly, while his hands gripped my waist, digging his fingers into my flesh. At that moment there was nothing in the room but him. 

We kissed that way for a couple of minutes before he drew back and looked into my eyes. He laid his forehead against mine and breathed heavily. I was giddy with glee, and couldn’t help the huge smile on my face. I had just kissed Nate and damn what a kiss it was. 

“We shouldn’t have done that,” Nate whispered softly. “But fuck. That was amazing.”

“I know,” I said before I softly pressed my lips against his again. 

It was meant to be a quick peck but we immediately erupted in a huge make-out session. I couldn’t say that I minded it that much. When Nate’s lips were on mine I felt more complete and happy than I had in a four of years.

He slowly released my lips again and grabbed the bottle of tequila from behind me. “Ready to get drunk?”

I nodded eagerly, desperately wanted to know what this night would bring.

~*~*~*~*~

AN: They kissed!!!!

And , the two of them weren’t even drunk yet. That will come next chapter. But I just had to let the two of them kiss. I couldn’t help it. And sorry the story won’t be all rainbows and sunshine yet. They will face a lot problems. But until then. I freakin’ enjoyed writing this. 

Let me know what you thought of it!