Bad Enough for You (Currently Editing)

Get Ready to Wake Up Covered in Glitter and Beer

Eli and I hadn’t stayed together that night. Come to think of it, he had hardly even touched me after we had left Chantal and headed back to his brother’s place. We had eaten instant mac and cheese while sitting on the couch watching late night comedies. There hadn’t been much conversation, just the sound of our plastic forks scraping against the sides of the bowls to fill the silence.

When I had left, I hadn’t even expected him to ask me to stay. From the way he was acting, treating me as if we were just friends and this was just a platonic incident between the two of us, I felt that there was something off. Rather than question him and get no real response besides cryptic words and promises to tell me about it later, I had just stood on the other side of the door, feeling that sort of awkwardness that only happens on the first date, when you don’t know if they’re going to kiss you or not. Eli hadn’t kissed me, just awkwardly patted me on the head and sent me on my way into the night.

Now, a week later, he was on the opposite end of the phone, occasionally grunting as he did sit ups on the other end. I pursed my lips, wondering if this was even worth it anymore. We hadn’t seen each other since that night. I wasn’t willing to make the first move. If he wanted to see me, he would say so.

“You still there?” He asked after a few minutes of silence on my part.

“Yeah, I’m here.” I said, picking up one of his t-shirts that I had stolen. I had considered making this conversation more interesting, telling him exactly how I was about to take off my clothes to get in the shower, but I wasn’t in the mood. I was still hurt by the fact that he was keeping secrets and confused about everything that had happened in the past week.

“Well, I’m about to go for my run.” He said, diminishing any lingering hopes I had had that he wanted to get together.

I sighed. “Okay.”

He was quiet for a minute and I almost hung up, thinking that he had done so already. Right when my finger was about to press down on the circular button at the bottom of my phone, Eli suddenly spoke. “Hey, I’m sorry this hasn’t been going so well lately, Adrienne. I think I just need to clear my head.”

At this, a thousand different responses erupted through my mind, each of them all revolving around why. Why did he need to clear his head? Why wasn’t he asking me to go out? Why were we not together right now? Why hadn’t he touched me? Why had we sat in silence when there was so much to talk about?

I didn’t ask him any of this, instead just nodded my head as if he could see me. If this was Eli beginning to pull away already, then I was going to brace myself for it. Maybe I should have been fighting. Maybe I should have been trying to get answers out of him. I wasn’t, though. I was bracing myself for the worst.

Not even giving him a response, I just hung up, tossing my phone onto my bed and turning away. I kicked the box of Blaine’s things over to the door and ran my hands through my hair.

Boys. What the hell was I going to do with them?

I was pacing my room in a fit, trying to sort through this odd side of Eli I had been exposed to when there was a knock on my door. I didn’t stop pacing as I beckoned them inside, barely turning my head when the door swung open and my father stepped through. He paused in the doorway, looking at me with concern in his eyes.

“Adrienne, what’s wrong?” His words shocked me so much that I stopped my pacing and looked at the man standing just a ways in my room. He wasn’t dressed in his usual business attire, but instead was wearing a loose-fitting pair of athletic pants and a sweatshirt. His hair was mussed on one side and he was looking at me from behind the pair of glasses that he hated wearing because they sat crooked on his nose.