Unsendable Love Letters

The Second Letter

My loveliest,

This is my second letter. I'll write it to you, and, like the first one, I will hide it somewhere you'll never look, where you won't think to look. But I have to write it down, to remind myself all these insane feelings are real.

You met me at my place the other day. We were chatting, talking, but all I could think of was kissing you. I wish I'd taken the chance before you got in a relationship. Would you have kissed me back, with lips as soft as I can only imagine? I'll never know, I suppose. My mind just kept going to the times our hands accidently touched each other, the times we hugged. When you were with me, I only imagined what it would be like to have you as my sweetheart. How proud I'd be, how happy. And though I know I'd never be good enough for you, I'm dreaming of it.

I wonder if people could see us at a couple - I would be proud, I would feel great. Walking around with you at my side makes me feel amazing. More confident. Proud. I just want to yell it in your face sometimes.

I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU.

I'll try to never hurt you. I'd take you to beautiful places and I'll never break your heart. I wouldn't even mind if you broke my heart. I'll give you all the personal space, all the attention you want and I'll call you if you let me. I would do anythong in my power to make you happy.

You're like a really sweet poison: I love taking it in but I know it's bad for me. Is it bad for me to love you? Is it wrong? I wouldn't even care if it was, because even though it's slowly destroying me, loving you can get me through the roughest of days. Hearing your voice makes the world seem less bleak, one wink from you and I can take anything. This feeling scares me, but I love it too much to let it go - I guess that means I love you too much, too. I wish I was free to kiss you anytime I'd like.

I wish I didn't have to keep thinking: hold back, don't go too far, you're not the lover, you're not the significant other. I wish I was better with words. I wish I could create a new kind of language to describe how amazing you are, because no other language on this earth seems to fit the part. I wish I could show you these love letters, but I'm too scared. Besides, you are taken - I would never do that to you.

Your love better realise their luck, because I'm going mad with jealousy, love and frustration. But I love the slowly sinking madness. I embrace it, like I would embrace you if I could.

Forever yours,
N.