Setting: Good old Blood Gulch days when Church was actually alive
"Quit fucking around, [l/n]! Give it back!" Church yelled, hopelessly leaping up and down to try and snatch his sniper rifle from your hand, which held it high above your head.
It was quite funny, actually. He would crouch real low and the jump with everything he had, his arms stretched as far as they'd reach above his head... and he still couldn't reach it.
"Magic word?" you teased.
Church's shoulders visibly slumped as he sighed and replied in an annoyed tone, "Please?"
You tapped your chin with your free hand, a thoughtful look crossing our face. "Nope, sorry."
"Oh!" Tucker yelled from across the base. "That's gotta hurt!"
"Bitch," he grumbled, trying his best to ignore Tucker. Grabbing onto the arm that held his weapon, he tried to pull it down to his level.
"Whoa, whoa," you said and switched hands that held the rifle. "Nice try, shortie."
"Come on, give me my fucking rifle back! What if we get attacked or something?!"
"By who," you snorted, "the Reds? They haven't done anything in days. It's not like you can shoot the goddamn thing anyway."
"Shut up," he grumbled, glaring up at you.
"I'll make you a deal," you offered, a faint trace of a grin on your lips.
"What?" he reluctantly questioned, not liking the look on your face.
"I'll give you it back if you kiss me."
"No," he flat out refused.
"Come ooon," you pleaded. "Worried you might mess that up, too?"
"No!" he yelled, glaring up at you. "I have to be professional in front of the others," he improvised, trying to stand up a little straighter to assert himself.
"Ha!" you laughed. "I didn't even think professional was in your vocabulary!"
"I can be professional!"
"Then prove it by showing you're capable of reclaiming your weapon. It's not so professional when you don't even have access to your sniper in the middle of a war, don't you think?"
"...Fine," he eventually mumbled, caving in under your taunts. "But I'm demoting your rank after this!"
"You say that like you actually have authority in this place."
"Shut up for a second, Jesus Christ," he bit back, ignoring your comment.
Dramatically pouting, Church stood up on the tips of his toes and rested his hands on your waist to balance himself. Even with all the effort he put into making himself taller, when it came down to it, he still could only kiss your chin.
"It's cute how small you are," you teased. "But I'll give it to you for trying." Lowering your arm, you held out his sniper rifle, which he hastily snatched up.
"Don't take it again," Church tried to threaten and began storming away to the other side of the base.
"Hey," you called out, holding your arms out in anticipation, "where's my proper kiss?"
Church tried to remain angry as he walked back up to you and quickly pecked your lips when you leaned over slightly so he could reach.
"Get some, Church!" Tucker wolf whistled as Caboose cheered along with him.
"Oh my God, shut up!" he yelled. His cheeks were tinged red by now, although you weren't entirely sure if it was from getting all worked up or the embarrassment inflicted by you and the others.
Either way, it was still your win.
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so I know you didn't request it, but I wrote this with @luna-stories in mind cause you said something before about church/epsilon being your fav so why not
hes smol so smol
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people have been saying how small is he?! and I see him as around 5'2/5'3 which would make the reader around 5'6/5'7/5'8 ish. idk, maybe I just like the idea of church fuming, stomping around the canyon, and being a little shortie while doing so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ its cute in an ironic way
