bruised apples

vii. morning

{ I lost all my defenses this morning / won't you show me the way it used to be }

A scoop of oatmeal. A couple of raspberries. It should be okay.

Matt screwed the lid into place as he unzipped his backpack to toss it in. The game plan for today was to snack on that during school and hope he didn't get too hungry and irritated. A small snack for dinner after he came back home. And then a glass of water before bed.

He really despised the people who could go a whole day with what he was bringing for lunch. That'd be his next goal.

Matt peered behind his shoulder, his lips grimly pursed with the blank face of his mother's body. He walked over. He pressed his hand against her cheek and trembled.

"Hey Mom," he whispered. She laid emotionless.

"I have a question," Matt leaned against the bed and clutched her hand. "Do you think you'll live? I mean, my life already sucks. I'd give anything for you to be alive and for me to be dying instead."

And he sighed. Matt kissed her forehead and trotted over to get his backpack.

"I'll see you later, Mom."

And he shut the door.

***

He knew something was very, very wrong when Pete was standing in front of his locker. With a card. With Dan.

It looked like they were conversing about who-knows-what when Matt popped up, his palms sweaty and jitters shooting down his spine when he reached to put in his locker combination. And Pete tapped his shoulder.

"Wow, Matt. Five years and this is the treatment I get," Pete beamed toward Dan. "He's such a troll."

Matt cautiously turned around, his eyes widening when he caught a view of the other boy's toffee colored hair and Pete slyly winked. He shook his head furiously.

"Actually, uh, I have to be..? Somewhere. Right now."

Pete grabbed onto Matt's shoulder and pulled him back.

"Woah, not so fast there," he crossed his arms. Matt caught a glimpse of Dan smiling awkwardly. He looked away.

"What are you doing?" Matt hissed. Pete held up a finger and motioned for Dan to step forward.

"Hey," he said. Matt blinked.

"Hey."

"I got you a... card. For your mom."

"How'd you--"

"Pete. And Mrs. Rivera too, I guess. She was talking about you after you left detention and I felt really bad about, y'know. Everything."

Matt stood shocked. He clutched the card in his hand before lifting it up and opening it.

courtyard. after school. today.

A handwritten note, scrawled on a piece of lined paper and taped to the card (which had a sentimental message in it for his mom, he had no doubt), was the only thing that caught his attention.

Matt looked up to see Dan and Pete's face.

"Well, thanks for joining us today, Dan," Pete hurriedly waved the other boy off. "It was great. Truly. See you again later!"

Dan put his hands back in his khaki pockets and nodded, catching Matt's eye before he spun around and clasped his hand with his girlfriend's. Matt stared at the letter.

"Dude, if you look like that then either he gave you a million bucks or just asked you out."

Pete tapped his foot on the ground as Matt held the letter to his chest. His heart was pumping much faster than he was used to as his stomach lurched. Pete waited impatiently for a reply.

"I-I actually... don't know."

The other boy stretched his arm and snatched the card away from him.

"Pete, what the h--"

"Dude."