This Is Our Second Skin (Frerard)

19: In Which Gerard Freaks Out And Frank Makes Waffles

Gerard didn't know what to think, or to do, because he had no idea what had actually happened, and maybe Frank just had somewhere to be, and he would return later, or maybe not - fuck, Gerard wasn't used to this mess of feelings, and even though a small part of his brain knew that he was overreacting, that knowledge did nothing to calm him down.

Gerard wasn't even sure what last night meant to Frank, because yes - he had admitted to liking Gerard for quite some time, but did that mean he was looking for a real relationship, or was this just going to turn into a fuck buddy sort of thing, and even though Gerard wouldn't mind that, he wanted to truly be with Frank, he ached for it, and now that he was gone, Gerard was seriously regretting not voicing his thoughts earlier.

But at the same time, Gerard was scared - terrified actually, because no one had ever showed any interest in pursuing a relationship with Gerard, so what were the odds that his crush of over a year would want to? Frank was so far out of his league it was almost hilarious, and he could have his pick of anyone, so why would he settle on Gerard, that just didn't make any sense.

With a frustrated sigh, Gerard attempted to get out of bed, maybe he could search around and see if Frank had left a note or something explaining his absence, but being the clumsy fucker that he was, Gerard didn't notice the way his feet were tangled in the sheets, which resulted in him falling onto his side with an embarrassing thump, a frightened squeak leaving his mouth as he was deposited onto the scratchy carpet.

Gerard groaned in pain as he kicked off the stupid fabric that had attempted to kill him, wincing slightly at the dull ache shooting up his spine, which was just another reminder of what had happened with Frank last night, and Gerard really didn't want that right now, not when his head was spinning, and he missed Frank already, and he was actually on the verge of tears for some ridiculous reason.

Gerard didn't have the energy to get up, so he stayed on the floor, his bare skin quickly being covered in goosebumps as it was exposed to the chill air, but Gerard could hardly feel the nip of cold, he was stuck inside his head right now, drowning in the multitude of thoughts that were assaulting him regarding Frank's whereabouts, and if he was ever coming back, and if Gerard should even bother trying to find him, because moping in bed all day sounded like a much better idea right now.

Gerard knew he was being stupid, and Frank had probably just needed to be at a previous commitment, but still, it was early, and Gerard's brain was muddled from the fall, and the sleep still clogging his thoughts, and he just wanted Frank back, he wanted to make sure that last night hadn't been a fluke, because if it was, Gerard didn't think he would be able to handle it.

He just couldn't go back to pretending to be friends with Frank, not after they had gotten so close; Gerard was barely holding himself together right now, and he had only realized that Frank was gone maybe ten minutes ago, and fuck - Gerard wasn't even doing that anymore, because hot tears were escaping out of his eyes without his consent, his chest heaving as he pulled the sheet that had tried to murder him around his naked body in a pathetic attempt at shielding himself from his unruly emotions.

Fuck - Gerard hated this, he really did, but now that he and Frank had finally admitted their feelings for each other, Gerard wasn't sure where they went from here; he knew most people dated, but Gerard had never done that before, he had never had the opportunity, and being thrown into a relationship with Frank was just as horrifying as it was exciting.

Because even though Gerard had struggled with hiding his feelings when he and Frank had just been friends, and he had truly wanted things to progress between them, Gerard hadn't considered all of the pitfalls that would come along with opening his heart up to the one person who had the power to crush it.