Trigger

twenty four • sorries

Finn stops for a second, shaking his head violently. "My aunt was dead, I could tell. Levi was knocked out, and his dad bone in his leg- it was sticking out. I thought he was dead." He shuddered. "But all I knew was that I was the only one conscious. My arm was killing me, but I still could realize something- Levi might have been the only one who survived. So I got out of the front seat and dragged Levi out. I called the police and just sat with him, crying."

Richard just stands there, watching Finn with expressionless eyes. I can feel tears prick at my eyes as I listen to the story. Finn continues, "I couldn't say anything to any of the police officers who came by- I refused to speak, and when I did say something, it was only me asking to go see Levi. I was so guilty- it was my fault. Levi's dad had died in the hospital and his mother had died on his impact. I liked about being a little drunk, and now they were dead. And if others found out, they would hate me. Levi would hate me. My parents would hate me." Finn refuses to look at us, his eyes staying on the ground. "Finally, Levi woke up and they let me see him. Levi- he had hit his head during the impact. He didn't remember anything, and the doctors said he would most likely never regain his memory of the accident. So when Levi asked me what had happened, I told him. I told him that his parents died in an accident. But I told him that he was the one driving. And when the police finally asked me again, that's what I told them too."

Finn gulps, finally lifting his head to look at us. Even Hannah gasps when she sees tears in Finn's eyes.

And then, the sound of sirens begin to sound from the distance.

My eyes widen, looking over to Hannah, who just smiles knowingly. That's what she was doing behind me when Finn and Richard first stopped us- calling the police. Finn's breath hitches as the police sirens begin to get closer and closer. "No," he mumbles underneath his breath. "No, no, no." He begins to fumble, even Richard watching him with slightly concerned eyes. Finn reaches for something in his back pocket with trembling hands, almost dropping the item when he takes it out. But I still see it.

A gun.

Hannah's eyes widen, gripping onto my arm. Jesus Christ, he's going to kill us. He's actually going to kill us. Hannah's voice shakes as she stumbles out, "Finn- Finn, come on. Don't."

Finn shakes his head. "No. Not you."

He puts the gun to his temple.

Richard's breath hitches. "Finn, what the fuck are you doing? Put the gun down."

Finn's chest is heaving, his limbs shaking, but he doesn't move the gun from his head. "No. They can't know- I can't let them. And I need to apologize- to all three of them."

I've hated Finn with every fibre of my being ever since Levi died, but I never wanted him to die. "Finn..." I say quietly, shocking everyone. "Put the gun down. More death isn't going to fix any of this."

Blue and red lights begin to appear down the road. Finn's finger moves towards the trigger.

Richard begins to panic- which has to be the most expression I've ever seen on his face. "Okay, Finn, I'm serious. Put the gun down. Come on, man, this isn't going to fix anything. You're not going to help anyone including yourself but ending yourself. This isn't the answer. Give me the gun, Finn."

Finn is shaking his head, his breathing still incredibly laboured. The police car stops beside us, the police quickly flooding out but stopping in their tracks when they see Finn. Finn takes a step away from them, yelling, "Don't get any closer!"

"Finn," I say softly. "Don't do this. Just tell the police what happened, it's the better way."

"I don't want to," Finn says. "I don't want everyone to hate me. I didn't mean for Levi to die- God, I never meant for anyone to die!"

"I know," Richard says, making Finn's head snap back to him, taking the same approach as me. "We can figure this out. Just put the gun down."

Finn just shakes his head, tightening his grip on the gun.

"Put the gun down!" A police officer yells. Finn squeezes his eyes shut.

"Stop!" he yells, tears spilling down his cheeks and his voice cracking. He begins to mutter, "I'm sorry Levi, I'm sorry..."

"Finn!" I shout.

"I'm sorry," Finn whispers.

And then for the first time since the day Levi died, I hear the sound of a gunshot, followed by Finn's body dropping to the floor.

xxx

>:)

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