Trigger

seventeen • blame

Finn doesn't do anything, just stares, and that has to be scariest part.

I want to take a couple of steps forward so I can see the expression in his blue eyes better, but I don't. For one, I don't know if me moving can set Finn off- for all I know, he could be a ticking time bomb with how angry he's been at me these past couple of days. The other reason is that I really don't need him seeing my frog slippers.

Finally, I find the courage to move, but it's not towards him. I take one step back, then another, Finn's eyes carefully following my movements but thankfully his feet stay planted where they are. I disappear behind the door, rushing over to a window where I can see what he's doing, and thankfully his eyes have turned away from my cottage and are now staring out into the lake.

My heart continue to race and my hands restlessly shake until I finally see him retreat back to his cottage.

x

"Kinsley, do you mind heading over to Finn and helping him out with dinner?"

I almost drop my phone where I'm sitting at the kitchen island. My mom turns to me with raised eyebrows, daring me to say no. I swallow dryly, "Does he have the inability to cook by himself?"

My mom shoots me a disapproving look. "Finn just lost his cousin, Kinsley. His parents aren't here with him. Hannah's here and that's great, but you haven't really been around him lately. He offered to make dinner tonight, which was a nice thing to do, and you should go over and give him some company."

"But mom-"

"Kinsley! You and Finn are friends. Go spend time with him while Hannah is out in town."

I swallow dryly, but eventually nod, slowly getting up off the island, already feeling uneasy. I know arguing with my mom won't help anything, but after what happened last night- our very and very creepy stare off- I really don't want to be alone with him.

I waste as much time making my way over to the Allen's cottage, eventually having to hurry up when I see my mom glaring at me through the window. My knuckles reaches up to timidly knock, praying that no one would answer, but of course, seconds later Finn swings open the door.

His eyes are cold and hard. I turn to see if my mom is watching us, but of course, she turned away just when I needed a witness if he killed me here and now. "Can I help you?" Finn asks me lowly when I turn back to face him.

"Don't get too excited," I practically spit. "My mom wants me to help you with dinner. So let me in or tell my mom you don't want my help."

I pray Finn chooses to do the later, but of course odds haven't exactly been on my side lately. Finn grunts unhappily but moves aside to let me into the expensive cottage. I feel like slumping my shoulders with disappointed, but they stay tensed, just in case Finn tries something. He doesn't, though. Finn simply brushes by me and makes his way into the kitchen.

I slowly follow him, fingers wringing together nervously. Finn is peeling potatoes into a bowl, looking extremely stressed out and anxious. Over what, I don't really know. Hopefully the guilt of what he did to Levi is finally coming back to-

No, I can't think about that. If I think about it then I'll risk bringing it up to Finn and getting into another fight with him like I did after the funeral, and I don't want to risk that. I don't even want to think of Levi when I'm around Finn anymore. I want to remember Levi as the good person I had thought of him as ever since I met him, not what Finn has made me think of him.

"Do you need any help?" I eventually ask.

Finn stops the peeling, turning to look at me and leaning his hip against the counter. "No."