Trigger

eight • pills

The next couple of days are awkward, to say the least.

Finn isn't really in high spirits- in fact, none of the Allen's really are. None of them dare to mention a word about Levi, but it's quite obvious what has dampened their moods. Katherine doesn't come out in the early morning (well, what she considers early morning) to have a coffee on the dock, Jeffery doesn't hum as he cooks at the barbeque and Finn doesn't go swimming every night. Things are just off, and I find it getting to me, too.

I stay cooped up in my cottage as well. The past couple of days have been rainy, so I use that as an excuse, but it's really because I just don't know how to act around the Allens anymore. I want to act like nothing has happened- like their nephew didn't shatter a mirror right in front of me- but it's just not possible. Everything just feels so wrong.

To get some normality back in my life- something I thought I had when I first met Levi Collins, but was sorely mistaken- I decide to FaceTime Hannah, my friend from back home. She might have ended up drunk in my back seat one too many times, but she's still an immediate breath of fresh air when she answers with a peppy, "Hey!"

Hannah's blue eyes sparkle even through the poor quality of her phone camera, her smile white and bright. We catch up a bit before Hannah eventually asks me why I'm acting so down. I'm slightly surprised at first that she could guess that I'm not feeling myself, but then again it's pretty obvious by the lack of enthusiasm in my voice, so I tell her everything that's been going on with Levi and Finn.

"Wait, wait," Hannah says as I finish up. "You have two hot boys living right next to you and you're complaining?"

I roll my eyes, "I'm not complaining. I'm just a little scared with everything that's happened with Levi."

Hannah nods, dropping the joking demeanour and turning more serious. "It sounds scary. Maybe Finn's right, though? That it's best to leave him alone if he gets like that? I mean, he hulk smashed a mirror in front of you. Doesn't that kind of scare you?"

I bite down on my bottom lip. "I guess...? I mean, he obviously wasn't in the right state of mind. He was fine one second and then as soon as I left him alone, he just... lost it. Is it really his fault?"

"I don't know," Hannah admits. "Neither of us know his story. Unless, you do...?"

"No," I sigh, though I wish I did. "I don't."

We switch to a lighter topic, talking for a couple of hours before Hannah's parents call her for dinner and she has to go. I haven't been in contact with Hannah all summer- I had wanted to get away from my friends, after all- but I'm relieved that I decided to make the decision to video call her for a bit. After we had moved on from the topic of Levi and talked about random and light-hearted things, I feel a bit better and more relaxed. Deciding I want to continue taking my mind off of the recent events, I do what I had once told Levi I do to relax- I go and cook.

Luckily, my parents had done a recent trip to the grocery store and restocked the fridge. I search up a lasagne recipe online and get to work, feeling relaxed in the way that I don't have to stress over guessing or not knowing- the recipe tells me all, all I have to do is follow its instructions.

My mom and dad come back from a boat ride to be pleasantly surprised when I already have dinner ready. They smile brightly at me- honestly, I just think that they're grateful I'm no longer cooped up in my room. We eat with a bit of light conversation. It's slightly strange to be having dinner with just the three of us- after all, I'm used to eating with Katherine, Jeffery, Finn and Levi too. I guess both families agreed no one was really up for a huge dinner tonight.