Trigger

twenty four • sorries

"You should really exact the conversation you were scrolling through on other peoples phone," Richard coldly answers.

Finn, barely even paying attention to Hannah and Clayton's exchange, shakes his head. "I'm going to kill Clayton."

"A fourth murder? Wow, Finn," I snap.

Finn's eyes flash once more- but this time, much more dangerously than before. "I didn't fucking kill Levi! He killed himself, do you understand? I didn't shoot him, he shot himself!"

"You tampered with his medicine!"

"I didn't mean for him to kill himself! I was- I was trying to fix it, okay?"

"Fix it?" I ask, bewildered. Even Hannah looks completely floored beside me. I repeat, "You were trying to fix it?"

"Yes!"

"How the hell do you think messing with someone's medication is fixing anything? You have to be completely insane to actually believe that would help anything!"

"You don't understand," Richard says, monotonous as ever. It gets me even more riled up.

"Then fucking explain! For God's-"

"He was beginning to remember!" Finn suddenly snaps, his words cutting me off and making me furrow my eyebrows. "Levi was beginning to remember the accident and I- I couldn't let that happen. So I talked to Richard and he suggested to maybe- maybe slip something into his daily medication that might stop him from remembering. I realized that things were going bad when he punched the mirror, and I tried switching the pills back, but they wouldn't kick in on time, and Levi stopped even taking them by the time he ran out into the forest. I didn't think he would kill himself- I never wanted that to happen!"

It's silent between the four of us for a bit as I soak those words in. I don't know to do- what to say- and the silence makes me feel like I have to say something. Luckily, Hannah turns to Richard and says, "Why the hell would you give him that idea?"

"Finn didn't want to go to jail," Richard shrugs. "We've been best friends since third grade. I didn't exactly want him going to jail either. It's not like I planned on Levi dying either."

"You're disgusting," Hannah spits out. "And pathetic. Both of you."

"You can't go to the police," Finn suddenly says. I'm taken aback by the sheer desperation in his voice. Finn is and always has been intimidating- cornering me and punching the wall above me when he was trying to get me to say that Levi had killed himself, speaking in cold and short sentences that held enough meaning to make me lose sleep for the rest of the day, shooting me death stares when no one was looking, always being overly confident. Now, he's none of that. Finn isn't confident- he's begging, looking terrified and torn up. "You can't. I- you think that Levi was the only guilty one?"

"Levi shouldn't have been guilty, he wasn't even driving that car."

"I know. I know, Kinsley. It- I was a little drunk, okay? Levi and his parents were coming to pick me up to take me home since I didn't have a ride. I was super excited because I had just gotten my full licence. Levi's parents were also happy for me- hell, even Levi was happy for me. He wasn't jealous or anything like that that I got it before me because Levi is- was- just... good. He was just good." Finn closes his eyes and wraps his arm around his stomach, looking sick. I stay silent, listening to the story I've been dying to hear for this past agonizing month.

"We stopped to pick up some tea for my mom when suddenly I asked if I could drive the rest of the way home. His parents had asked me if I had anything to drink at Clayton's, but I lied and said no." Finn opens his eyes, his normal blue orbs looking haunted. "I figured that I would be fine- I hadn't been that drunk, anyway, and I was already sobering up. Levi and his mom were in the backseat, his dad was up front with me. I- I don't know what even happened. Suddenly, I was in the wrong lane and we were crashing into a tree and-"