Two Loves, One Fate (Itachi & Sasuke Uchiha)

№.32 :: Serenity's Departure

Chapter Thirty-Two

Defeated. I felt defeated, in body and in soul. My motivation was lacking and it seemed that nothing I did or could even muster to think about could change this. The following morning arrived too soon for my own taste, but I remained motionless in bed with my eyes closed shut, hoping that the events of the previous night were part of a sick, twisted nightmare that I had dreamt. Unfortunately, my conversation with Rei-dono and the events that followed in which Itachi went after Sasuke were far from a dream. If all of that had been nothing but a dream, I wouldn’t have this dreadful feeling sitting in the pit of my stomach. I nestled my head deeper into the pillow, my ears straining on my heartbeat. Thump. Thump. Thump… The sound of my beating heart against my ribcage could drown out all other noise in my surroundings, but I couldn’t ignore the silence of the room. In all, the entire headquarters was too quiet. No footsteps, no breathing, and no movement whatsoever. Finding this too strange, a single eye fluttered open to investigate; the immediate sunshine from the window burned my gaze and I squinted in resistance until my sight had adjusted to the brightness of the room. Opening the other eye, my gaze rested on the spot where Itachi had fallen asleep the night before. A sad look entered my gaze as I felt the sheets beside me, his warmth still lingered there for just a second.

Without Itachi by my side, the bed felt too big for my small form. It almost felt wrong, as if I didn’t belong there unless he was present as well. My hand lingered over the spot that Itachi had left empty, the warmth of the bed sheets guaranteeing that he was close by. A heavy sigh slipped through me as I used my elbows to prop myself against the pillows; at the same time, my gaze wandered around the room and I was most definitely alone. The defeated feeling that remained in the pit of my stomach described my mood perfectly since today was the day of my departure from the Akatsuki. This place had been my home for the past few months, and I couldn’t see myself living elsewhere without Itachi by my side. The thought of saying my goodbyes brought tears to my eyes, but my heart refused to let me cry over the matter. In the past few days, I split countless of tears and I didn’t want to show my weakness anymore. Someone cruel may possibly use it against me in the long run. I remained still for several minutes as I regulated my breathing and forced the tears to subside, I no longer wanted to be the little girl everyone looked down upon. I wanted to be the very person who everyone expected leadership from, and revealing such a weak side of mine would get me nowhere. Who would have thought that I would enter the Akatsuki as a hostage, but the moment of my departure would mean leaving my lover behind.

It was a great blow to my heart, but time healed all things and I just had to trust that time would heal my aching heart. I have to think positively to get through this, and no matter how hard the hardships that I face may become, I just have to remember that I am no ordinary kunoichi. This pain in my heart was already intense and it made me wonder, how will it feel once we’re actually separated?  Our love was going to be tested to the extreme, and I had no idea if I would be able to handle the loneliness that would consume me. Would Itachi remain faithful to me? I would hope so… but time would tell if the relationship Itachi and I had would blossom into something wonderful. I pondered my thoughts as I stared out into open space, my attention not fixated on anything in particular. In the past few days, I realized a lot about myself and it became almost a routine of mine to just space out, lost in my own thoughts. I blinked, instantly breaking the trance that I had placed myself in. I shifted my body weight against the pillows, making myself more comfortable. I sighed as I fell back against the pillows, my gaze lingering on the ceiling. ‘What would become of me if my father found out about my relationship with Itachi? Would he accept my lover? Or will I be forced to choose between Itachi and the kingdom?’ My father was the type of man who would place me in such a predicament. It didn’t matter to him if my heart was torn, the kingdom came first to him and he expected me to act the same.