Fairy Tail: Icy Sadness

Chapter six

Natsu stayed at my house for the next week, but he wasn't annoying or constantly on my back. He was pretty relaxed, actually, which allowed me to cut almost as often as normal. I felt a bit guilty, but, sadly, I couldn't have cared less. All I thought about was cutting, pain, blood. I wanted to let myself feel the mistakes I've made: allowing Natsu and the others to feel guilty, letting them find out, every stupid little thing I've done. There's no forgiving my mistakes so I needed to face the repercussions even if I had to deal them to myself.
"Gray, I think it's time you go back," Natsu said out of the blue one day.
I knew what he was talking about, but I still asked,"Huh?"
"To the guild."
Exactly what I was expecting. The one place I couldn't show my face in was the place I had to go.
We were quiet for a while before Natsu said, "Come on. Let's get it over with. You can't avoid them forever."
He walked over to me and began to usher me out the door, but I stayed still.
"I won't let you not do this. It has to happen sometime sooner than later so we're going now."
  I didn't want to fight him so I followed.
We got to the guild before I knew it and I stood looking at the front door.
"Come on," he said, "they'll be happy to see you."
We opened the door to loud chatter. Everyone looked up at Natsu and I and lowered their conversations to a light murmur. I glued my eyes to the floor and walked over to a table in the corner, feeling everyone's eyes in me as I did. I kept my gaze focused on my hands as I fidgeted with them in my lap. Natsu sat across from me, but I didn't look up. My face was hot, and I knew it had to be bright red. I couldn't hear anything over the embarrassment of being here ringing in my ears. I wanted to run, but that would draw more attention to me.
"Do you want me to get you anything?" Natsu asked as he got up to get some food.
I shook my head, and he walked away.
When Natsu came back be put a bottle of water in front of me. I took a sip of it and took a glance around the room. Everyone was back to talking with each other, and Natsu was the only person looking at me. I calmed down a bit but was still unsettled by being there.
I rested my hands on the table after putting my water down playing with my nails. Natsu put his hand over mine and said, "See? Everything's alright, no one even noticed us."
I looked up at him and his expression was reassuring.
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it while giving him a weak smile.
"Natsu! Gray!" Erza called. I didn't really want to see her or anyone, but now I had no choice. "Did you think you could get away with not being here for over a week? I don't think so. Now, we fight!"
  Not this. Luckily Natsu was always ready to fight and took her head on
"I'm always read to fight you Erza, and don't think I'll hold back just 'cuz you're a girl," he mocked.
"Well don't think I'll take it easy on you because I'm a girl," she retorted.
"How do you want to lose?"
"No magic. This is a classic physical fight," Erza declared. Everyone gathered around the two in their ridiculous fight.
Natsu threw three quick punches which Erza easily evaded. The two fought and circled each other rapidly. Before I knew what was happening, Erza grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me into the fight.
"Don't think you're getting out of this because I'm preoccupied with Natsu. I'll beat you both at once."
Great, just what I needed: a fight with Erza and Natsu. The only good thing about this whole ordeal was everyone was treating me normally.
We battled for a while, and a lot of other people got involved. Soon the whole guild was fighting, but mostly, we were laughing. No one won; no one needed to. We were reckless and free and I had fun for the first time in a really really long time.

Natsu and I left the guild around midnight and there was a smile plastered in my face. We were silent and I saw him look over at me out of the corner of my eye.
"What?" I asked, a grin spreading on my face.
"It's just nice to see you smile."
"Yea," I said softly.
"You can do this, you know?"
"I know. I'm ready to do this."
We got to my house and I opened the door. I went upstairs and motioned for Natsu to follow. I lead him to my bathroom and he looked confused. I got every blade from every hiding place and held them out to Natsu. He held his hand up and I let them all fall from my finger tips. I knew this was big for me, and I would probably regret it. I also knew this was something that needed to be done.
He walked over to my toilet and dropped them all in with small plopping noises. I walked over next to him and flushed. We watched the small pieces of silver flutter uselessly away in the water.
  I pulled my shirt off as I had done so many other times although those times were out of instinct. I let him see the fresh wounds I had inflicted. He needed to know.
He said nothing but put his arm around my waist and smiled. He then smiled up at me and kissed my temple, catching me off guard. I looked over at him in shock and knew my face was red. Taking this chance he kissed me on the lips. It was soft and gentle, and I kissed back. I tangled my fingers in his spiky hair, and he pulled me closer to himself by my waist.
This was when I realized everything amazing about Natsu; when I realized I loved him. I always had, if not always romantically. We had been together since we first met at the guild. We constantly fought, but that's how we loved. Now we were truly sharing our recently found feelings without fists or harsh words, with soft actions and kind gestures.
I really loved the spiky haired boy whose lips were locked with mine.