Fairy Tail: Icy Sadness

Chapter one

"Hey snowman! Are you coming with us or not? You don't want to be stuck here after we leave, you'd get lost!" Natsu called. We just finished some stupid job and were making our way toward the guild. I stayed a good distance behind Lucy, Erza, and Natsu as we made our way through the woods. I walked alone with only my thoughts for company. Sad thoughts. Dark thoughts. Thoughts that could only be suppressed with pain. No. I couldn't do that on a job. Even I'm not that stupid
"Yea, I'm right here hot head" I mumbled in response. I didn't want to be with him when I was like this. I wanted to seem happy for him. I wanted to be strong. I couldn't be that when I was battling myself.

We got back to the guild and I headed to the washroom out back. I reached into the secret pocket on the inside of my boxers and retrieved the small blade I kept there.
I took my shirt off(something I had been doing less and less lately from all the new scars and cuts I've given myself) and looked over myself. There were marks everywhere, but nothing too fresh since the job lasted five days.
I placed the blade on the uppermost part of my arm near my shoulder and debated cutting through it. I wanted to see blood pour out of me. I wanted the cut to be so deep it took a few seconds for the blood to surface. I wanted to feel the pain I deserved for being so useless and powerless.
I pressed down on the razor and felt a sharp pain as my skin opened. I slowly dragged the blade across my flesh leaving behind a scarlet line that began to drip. Red streamed down my arm.
I placed the blade just above the slice and cut again. Slow and deep, just how I like it.
I closed my eyes and relished in the pain. I felt blood trickle down my arm slowly. To avoid making a mess, I used some tissues to clean the blood off my arm and held them against the gashes to absorb the blood that leaked out.
I sat like that for a while, occasionally getting a fresh tissue. I breathed in and out deeply and told myself how I deserved this, and how terrible I am.
When the blood stopped flowing, I threw all the used tissues away and laid on my floor for a while. I stared up at the ceiling without really seeing.
Some time later, I put my shirt on and headed into the guild.

A/N
I'm sorry it's not very long, I have more written that needs editing that I will post soon. I hope this is okay and if you have suggestions, please please please let me know. Thank you so much