The Ones We Leave Behind

Chapter 17

 I bolt up from my phone ringing, and I don't check the caller id. I grab it and push answer.

"Hello? Leyna?"

My mouth drops open. "Oh, my God. Gabby?"

"Hey. I just got your message last night. Leyna—I—"

I interrupt her. "—Listen to me first." I swallow. "Gosh. I didn't think you would call me back. I'm so sorry, Gabs. I'm a jerk. I was so selfish and horrible to you. I—"

"—Leyna—"

"—Please just hear me out."

I hear her sigh. "Okay."

"I want to apologize for treating you the way I did. I know I don't deserve forgiveness, but I'm asking you now."

She says, "Of course I forgive you. I'm just sorry I didn't try harder to stay in your life. I should have pushed more." Her voice sounds almost the same as I remember. Just slightly harder. Not quite as bubbly and soft as it used to be.

I tear up at her forgiving spirit. She has every right to completely ignore me and hate me, but she decides to forgive me despite what I did to her.

"Thank you, Gabby. You have no idea what that means to me."

"God, Ley. Of course! I'm just sorry I didn't let you know earlier. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. What the hell happened? When did it happen? How are you doing now?"

"I um..." How do I explain this? Well I guess I can start at the beginning. "So around February, this year, I had my annual scans, and they found something wrong with my heart. It showed the beginning signs of failing. The doctors quickly stuck me on the usual meds, and I could stay at home still for a few months, but the drugs didn't help. By May, I had worsened so much that I had to live at the hospital. They tried everything, but nothing was working." 

I exhale and close my eyes. The memories flood to me. "It just so happened that my cousin, James, was working on these experimental drugs. My doctor received them, and I've been on them since. But of course, they aren't really working."

"Oh, Leyna..." She sounds distraught.

I continue. "They were working for a bit, but I feel like they're doing nothing now. I've started coughing again last month, and I'm now on oxygen again. And since it is completely experimental, the doctor doesn't want to up the dose unless he is sure that I need it. Basically there's nothing they can do now, but wait for me to either get better or worse."

I can almost feel her thinking. "How long—" She pauses, and I can hear her pain. "—How long do they say you have?"

I told her in the message, but I guess she wants to hear it again to make sure. "They don't know, but most likely not even another 5 months."

"Wow... Leyna, I can't imagine what you've been going through. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help you through it."

I shake my head. "Yeah, well that was my fault. I thought that by pushing everyone away, I was minimizing the impact of pain I would inflict on them when I died. I was wrong. Dad and Wes have helped me realize that."

"Wes? As in dirtbag Wesley Steele?" She sounds shocked. I'm not surprised. She only knew Wes when he was a jerk.

I laugh. "Crazy. I know. He's incredible though. He's completely changed. You wouldn't know it's the same guy. He's super sweet, wise, thoughtful, and hilarious."

"Am I sensing a little romance happening? That's adorable. You crushed on him all throughout high school."

I grin. "I know!"