After the Beep

August 26th, 2014 19:59

"I'm really worried about Dev. I see him around school and he seems 'better' now, but I see right through it. He looks like he is forcing a smile.

I mean, don't we all, at one point in our lives? But his, it doesn't seem like your usual painted face for the people who you don't want to see the true you. It looks like the kind where you are even trying to convince yourself that you are okay.

When really you are slowly withering inside."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"Oh have I?" I reply sarcastically to my therapist.

"That was a stupid question wasn't it?" He tries to lighten the mood.

I look at the clock in the room. I had been since I walked in. "Won't you look at that, times up."

"No, wait..." Before he can finish I stand up and walk out of the door.

Stepping into the lobby, I see my dad waiting for me.

"So how'd it go?"

I stared him down. "How does it ever go?"

"Right."

I get that my dad is trying to help me, but I am honestly fine.

Well...

I will be fine, and I don't need a shrink to help me with that. Since he pays good money for each of those sessions, I actually 'talk out' my emotions. That is until the clock strikes 3:00 pm. Then I shut down. You won't get anything out of me after that. Plus I get to skip a day of school, so hey!

"I was thinking Chinese takeout tonight? What do you thi..." Right then his phone started ringing.

I already knew what it was.

"Hold on honey." He handed my the keys and gestured for me to go to the car.

There goes my takeout. And there goes my dad for the night.

I pull up to the passenger side of the car and open the door to get in.

I sat there, just listening to the sound of my thoughts and stillness in the air.

Which both have the potential to drive me mad.

My dad hops in and says what I have been waiting to hear this whole time.

"I'm gonna have to take a rain check." He doesn't bother to explain, because he know I know why.

"Alright."

"I'll drop you off at home, but I'll have to head back out right after." He continues.

"Okay."

"You know I love you Kris." He adds.

"I love you too papa."

...

I am on my bed, with earbuds in, and blaring loud music. That is where I have been since I got home.

Suddenly and incoming call interrupts my playlist. I look at the caller ID and see 'Deez Nuts' written across the screen. I still have it down as Devon's name from when it was still funny.

"Hello?"

"Hi." he says in a barely whisper.

"What's up? It's been a while. You just went MIA on me."

"Kristen, you remember all of the times when you said that if anything was wrong, to talk to you?"

I quickly shot up from my bed.